Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML
Today, I took my 15-year-old daughter to our local shooting range for her birthday, as she requested. While she was setting up a target in front of me, I jokingly pulled the trigger and shouted, "Think Fast!" not realizing that the safety was off. I shot my daughter in the arm on her birthday. FML
Today, my parents forgot it was my birthday. They ordered me to scrub the common bathroom, and when I asked if they'd remembered, my dad's reaction was, "Oh! Really?" My mom's was, "I thought that it was next week." What lovely parents I have. FML
Today, my parents took me out to dinner. I thought they were taking me because it's my birthday. Turns out they are getting divorced. They forgot it was my birthday. FML
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Today, my aunt asked to see my new airsoft pistol. Not thinking anything of it, I handed it to her. She shot me in the leg. I was standing next to her. FML
Today, I thought my family would like it if I celebrated the new year with them. My brother thought that I'd like him to shoot my butt with his new gun in celebration. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML
Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML
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Top comments
SharnaaaBanana 22
With an actual bullet? Or something like a BB gun?
fsomelife 26
Bazooka. Nothing out of the ordinary.
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Comments (141)
TvSmith 8
With a real gun, BB gun, or paintball gun? I hope any other one except the real gun.
fantita495 19
Look at the bright side, you can milk this for years.
middlenamefrank 8
So are you saying you weren't surprised? I'm glad I'm not in your family!
rigley06 12
This is the kind of thing that you never let your parents live down
ulissey_fml 22
I like this site because it makes me feel a lot better about my own family...
cwaziemamma 16
How??? And happy birthday
mikeyd205 2
I would like to know how that even happened
deuce8301 2
Sounds made up.
Kendrah18 19
Sounds like you live in the Deep South. Ha.
Dontalktome 9
Was there video? Will you be on Tosh.0?