Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate confided in me that she hadn't been taking showers while at school because she was afraid of being in the shower when the fire alarm goes off. She goes home once every month, and will only shower there. I have to live with her for the rest of the year. FML
Today, while watching TV in my dorm, I clearly heard my roommate yell to someone proudly, "I've only taken a shower 4 or 5 times since I've been here." He's been my roommate for four months. FML
Today, I discovered that I have to share a room with my new stepbrother. I also discovered that he takes the same number of showers over the course of two weeks as I do in a single day: one. FML
Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML
Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML
Today, my new roommate moved in. It seems that instead of using toilet paper like a normal human being, she instead opts to use the nearest towel in reach. I found this out when I went to dry off with mine after a shower. FML
Today, I woke up to my step-mother taking a shower in my bathroom. Of course, this would be fine, if my bathroom wasn't connected to my room and closet, or that I live in an apartment in their back yard, built before she moved in. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go on a group trip instead of paying our water bill. Now I can't shower until next week. FML
Today, I realized that my flatmate showers so little that the furniture she uses smells like BO. FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
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Top comments
Matty1188 6
Sorry, OP. That stinks.
Palirose 22
Tell her she needs to shower more. Otherwise you're going to start spilling buckets of water and soap on her every morning.
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Comments (123)
Birdie_Sage 0
Get some nasty shit to 'accidentally' put on her, hopefully then she'll take a shower.
Pentium_4 27
enjoy the next couple days. last pleasant ones for a while
FajitaFreak 3
How is this possible? How does she function in society where no one tells her she smells bad?
l0v3p4in 7
Because the world is too politically correct and no one wants to offend her lest that brave soul becomes the target of some backwoods, French ancestral, Hippie-influenced activist party.
florido_fml 10
Maybe she washes hereself with olive oil, don't be too quick to judge.
soupisyummy 13
If she keeps that up that's only 6 showers a year! That's 359 less than she should take!
deviable 9
Showering every day is bad for your skin. More like 180 showers a year give or take.
ShyAnn29 15
6 showers a year?! Wow that's gross, I hate the feeling of being sweaty, I can't imagine not showering!
soupisyummy 13
Hahaha, that's so disgusting it made me laugh hysterically.
br0ccoli 15
Girls especially should shower frequently. Two month old menstrual blood??? Eww. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. If I were a man, my penis would retreat into my body. I bet you could braid her armpit hair and use her leg hair to grate coconuts.
XtraEzeee 8
*shudder* I think I just blinded myself imagining that.
gracehi 33
You should have a discussion with her about her personal hygiene but tread lightly. This may be a symptom of a deeper problem. I had a close friend who smelled awful. Later we found out that her husband was abusing her. As soon as she got rid of him she started taking care of herself again.
GothInside 6
Shame her into showering more.... Talk about it all the time, comment " what's that smell", leave articles about consequences of bad hygiene on her bed... Maybe sooner or later she'll catch on that she's NASTY!!!!!!
1happymummy 14
Soon after I wake im itching to jump in the shower, how can she bear two months of accumulated grime before she washes? Her hair must be minging never mind her bush!