Transportation: Today, my girlfriend dropped me off for a class and I accidentally... - FML

By enriquegay - United States

Today, my girlfriend dropped me off for a class and I accidentally closed my exceptionally baggy pants in the passenger door. She didn't notice and started to drive away. I spent the next fifteen seconds being dragged across rough pavement with my pants around my ankles. FML

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Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Walk on the wild side

Fairytale ending

By ClearOne - United States

Today, I finally came to terms with the fact that my girlfriend considers me a glorified ATM. FML

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By Jes_jes18 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at work and a lady screamed at my manager for about 15 minutes, saying I needed to be fired because I couldn't get rid of all the flies buzzing around her food. She was the one who chose to eat on our patio. FML

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By travelsickness - United Kingdom

Today, I had to endure a long drive from Poland to England. We weren't allowed to open our windows. My mum threw up. Twice. FML

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By Peppermint - New Zealand

Today, I put signs up in the lifts at work with my name and desk phone number as the contact in case the lifts break down. I work in IT so there are hundreds of men in the building. Someone has already drawn a very wonky heart next to my name. FML

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By Nice 2 inch - Canada

Today, my grandpa told us he wanted to fit in. His idea of fitting in is streaking in a park at 4:00 pm. FML

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By hot_shot - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

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By jeanrose2013 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML

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By virgo - France

Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make me feel better. FML

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By kidyounot - United States - Statesboro

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

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By Sharkie49 - United States - Oceanside

Today, I paid top dollar for an Italian soda that ended up consisting almost entirely of ice. When I complained, the girl insisted that the soda water stopped the ice from melting. She said she didn't see what the problem was, and threatened to have me thrown out if I didn't "simmer down." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - South Salem

Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML

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By oops - United States - San Francisco

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

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By screwed - United States

Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML

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By fuck - Norway - Slemmestad

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

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By hungry - United States

Today, I heard that there was supposed to be a huge blizzard heading our way, so I went out to stock up on groceries. After spending $600 on food, I drove home and packed most of it into the fridge and freezer just in time for our power to go out. FML

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By BrutallyBlonde - United States

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

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By SNBBFF - United States

Today, it was my birthday. We had a huge family dinner and everyone was invited, including my boyfriend. My family is kind of stuck-up, so I was very nervous about him meeting them. He got into an argument with my uncle over how "awesome" Van Halen is, and ignored me all night. FML

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By well then... - United States

Today, I was approached by a girl who called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, then punched me in the face. I'm a virgin. FML

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By DramaticSigh - United States

Today, at work, a customer came in. Since I was behind the counter, I asked if she needed help with anything. I've worked there for five years, and I didn't recognize my own boss. FML

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By BadFather - Australia

Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML

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By Ruinedchristmas - United States - Wrightsville

Today, I came home after doing some Black Friday shopping for Christmas presents. I told my husband I got the must-have toy our daughter has been dying for. As soon as I said it, I heard squealing and turned around to see her standing right behind me. There goes the surprise. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Lafayette

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

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By Moving On - United States

Today, I found out my parents' New Year's resolution is to get me to move out. FML

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By ForeverAGirlfriend - United States - Aliquippa

Today, while vacationing with my boyfriend of 9 years, he started writing "Wi" in the sand. I instantly hoped he was going to propose by writing, "Will you marry me" on the beach. He spelled out "wiener" instead. FML

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By cheated - United States

Today, my daughter-in-law revealed to me that she caught my husband having an affair with her best friend. This was five years ago, and she is only telling me now because he stopped paying her the blackmail money to keep her mouth shut. FML

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By Gameless Guy - United States

Today, I learned just how much change a toddler can stuff in to a Nintendo Wii. I also learned that those things are put together with special screws. FML

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By missblue97 - United States

Today, my dad asked my step-mom if he could get some booty before bed because he still had energy. He didn't realize I was still in the room. FML

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By coral - United States

Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Pensacola

Today, I went out clubbing with a few friends. A cute guy pointed at me from the bar and motioned for me to come over. I was excited and did just that. Turns out he just wanted to ask me if I'd thought about seeing a doctor for my jaundice. No, I just overdid my spray tan. FML

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By sunny_funny - Cyprus - Nicosia

Today, I'm on a residential trip for 4 days with 72 children, 5 other staff and 72 sets of parents who want to be on the phone to me constantly. FML

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By kiwi2323 - United States

Today, my intoxicated husband asked my very conservative parents how their sex life is now that all the kids are out of the house. FML

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By Hackmanjones - Canada

Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

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By alexander - United States - Longmont

Today, my girlfriend really needed to take a pee while we were fishing in my boat. Rather than go to shore, she decided to she could just go into a Snapple bottle. I watched as all her pee went straight onto the floor of my boat, soon realizing she had never even taken the bottle's cap off. FML

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By lifsabtch

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I was hungover and had to run to put the rubbish out for the bin lorry, only I was so hungover I forgot I was only wearing an open dressing gown and no underwear. A few neighbours and passing cars got to see me swinging in the breeze. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I picked up my driver's licence and my keys off the floor at the same time, using only my toes. This was the highlight of my day. FML

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By disturbed - United States

Today, I got rear-ended at a stoplight by a woman who had been doing her make-up while driving. She didn't get out to see if I was okay until she had finished perfectly applying both lipliner and gloss. FML

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By Stevie - United States - Southfield

Today, I kindly explained to a client that she had calculated her CD interest wrong. She kindly responded that, as a nurse, she would never give me medical treatment if I was involved in a car accident. FML

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Top comments

By jeffers | 0

#65635 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:05

if your pants are so baggy that they're getting caught in a car door, then they're to F***ing baggy

By bridgette5866 | 0

#975019 - Tuesday 6 April 2010 5:43

This was seemingly inevitable but it seems I get to do the honors.

PANTS ON THE GROUND, PANTS ON THE GROUND. LOOKIN LIKE A FOOL WITH YOUR PANTS ON THE GROUND.

COMMENTS

By xoxcocoxox | 0

#65609 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:01

is tht even possible?!?!

Reply

AnaMaree | 0

#523278 - Saturday 29 August 2009 3:39

Haha it looks like im second.

and YDI for being a wigger.

Reply

ricosuave1106 | 0

#892131 - Thursday 25 February 2010 20:29

nope. yer 117th.

Reply

bridgette5866 | 0

#975019 - Tuesday 6 April 2010 5:43

This was seemingly inevitable but it seems I get to do the honors.

PANTS ON THE GROUND, PANTS ON THE GROUND. LOOKIN LIKE A FOOL WITH YOUR PANTS ON THE GROUND.

Reply

sukhdeep | 4

#1019783 - Saturday 5 June 2010 4:42

I agree with me

Reply

rawrkittehpwnage | 0

#1076154 - Friday 9 July 2010 23:24

kinky.. haha

Reply

rein | 8

#2059000 - Tuesday 8 February 2011 17:31

win!

By HopelesslyHpfl | 0

#65613 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:02

thats horrible!

By McLaughlane | 0

#65617 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:03

ahaha omg. i'm sorry, that's terrible!

By Warcry21 | 1

#65626 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:04

jesus christ 15 minutes and she didn't notice?

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joce445 | 0

#1180124 - Tuesday 3 August 2010 9:13

it was 15 seconds.

Reply

SittingInTheSky | 6

#3120270 - Tuesday 16 August 2011 20:56

lolage!

Reply

Kazze | 31

#6160592 - Friday 2 January 2015 10:03

I don't think he would be here to post an FML if he was drug for 15 minutes..

By lancewell | 0

#65629 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:04

#4 read it clearly says 15 seconds not minutes
btw that realy sucks

Reply

loveyoy22 | 0

#860916 - Tuesday 16 February 2010 5:54

I thought it said minutes too >.>

By MusicMans | 0

#65630 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:05

AHAHA Thats pretty funny, I can picture that, in front of the people and your girlfriend! Being dragged on the floor. Oh man, I'd have to agree, your lifes fucked.

By jeffers | 0

#65635 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:05

if your pants are so baggy that they're getting caught in a car door, then they're to F***ing baggy

By scorpiogirl666 | 0

#65636 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:06

Dude, that... sucks.
oww, just reading it hurts!!
...no wait, that's my cat attacking my leg.

Reply

blairyboo | 0

#856814 - Monday 15 February 2010 4:30

uh?

By puppyeyes56 | 0

#65639 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:06

#4 it was 15 seconds, not 15 minutes...

Aww man, that sucks, that must of hurt to !

But,Lesson learned, pull up your pants and get pants that fit properly.

By UhOhImF___ed | 0

#65642 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:07

you shouldn't wear baggy pants.
#9 has the right idea