Today, my girlfriend dropped me off for a class and I accidentally... - FML

By enriquegay - 28/3/2009 17:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dropped me off for a class and I accidentally closed my exceptionally baggy pants in the passenger door. She didn't notice and started to drive away. I spent the next fifteen seconds being dragged across rough pavement with my pants around my ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59039

You deserved it

37422

Tweet

Share

Rock, hard place

Gratitude walks

The Summoner

By Hopeless - 4/12/2018 13:00 - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I had a dream that I met my celebrity crush. As I leant in to kiss him, he rejected me saying “woah no thanks”. I get rejected even in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2406

You deserved it

250

Tweet

Share

By peepa - 10/9/2017 04:30

Today, I finished my last day of job training. At the beginning, the boss had told us to ask as many questions as possible. I was fired because I asked too many questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4012

You deserved it

405

Tweet

Share

By Ames - 23/5/2009 16:07 - United States

Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 am my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because: "the cat is sad." FML

I agree, your life sucks

56367

You deserved it

8871

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 23/5/2012 17:20 - Switzerland - Wildberg

Today, my boyfriend ended our relationship. He called me from his mobile phone, claimed to be a trauma surgeon, and told me with a bad German accent that my "boyfriend" had been in a fatal car crash earlier in the day. What the hell is wrong with this idiot? FML

I agree, your life sucks

35669

You deserved it

4345

Tweet

Share

By tryandtryagain - 28/4/2011 04:04 - United Kingdom

Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21409

You deserved it

29689

Tweet

Share

By JeezAndAges - 24/11/2018 05:00

Today, I walked in on my nineteen-year-old stepson masturbating into a pair of my panties. His excuse? He thought they belonged to my 17-year-old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4484

You deserved it

418

Tweet

Share

By Adrian James - 9/7/2019 12:00

Today, I got into a fight with my roommate's girlfriend's best friend. A few hours later, they had me evicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1605

You deserved it

218

Tweet

Share

By .... - 30/11/2014 04:29 - United States - Geneva

Today, my boyfriend went to work instead of going to my father's funeral. He works at home and chooses his own hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38435

You deserved it

3384

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/11/2009 05:47 - New Zealand

Today, I found out that my friend uses pictures of me to motivate her to work out. They are accompanied by sayings such as "you don't want to turn out like this." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34338

You deserved it

5544

Tweet

Share

By elite - 19/1/2012 21:59

Today, at school, I was scheduled to give a presentation to my class. As I arrived, my teacher said to me, "You're bleeding from the 120th pimple on your left cheek." FML

I agree, your life sucks

45334

You deserved it

4314

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/2/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Session done!

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2048

You deserved it

291

Tweet

Share

By farksh - 7/3/2015 12:14 - Australia

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31077

You deserved it

6237

Tweet

Share

By lpspann87 - 24/9/2011 21:34 - United States

Today, like every day, I walked into my office and was greeted by the smell of shit wafting through the air. My lactose intolerant, diabetic coworker won't stop eating Whataburger and milkshakes for breakfast, no matter what his body tells him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32985

You deserved it

2560

Tweet

Share

By Annonymous - 18/10/2012 14:41 - United States

Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26244

You deserved it

1901

Tweet

Share

By youlovewaffles - 3/8/2019 04:00

Today, I was talking to myself in the shower, pretending I was Oprah. After I got out, my little brother asked if I was singing in the bathroom. I almost said no, but admitting to singing seemed a lot less embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1189

You deserved it

377

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 23/10/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58143

You deserved it

4557

Tweet

Share

By dundundadumb - 6/8/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30938

You deserved it

107399

Tweet

Share

By Kikinovak - 13/12/2008 12:06 - France

Today, a driver stole the parking space I was about to pull into. I politely asked him to move. He had a go at me, so I kick his car twice, in front of a few witnesses. The car is fine. I ripped two ligaments in my foot and I'll have a cast for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8031

You deserved it

40983

Tweet

Share

By Stupid - 18/9/2013 08:46 - United States - Lake Saint Louis

Today, I thought that an ingenious way to protest against high tuition prices would be to steal a box of soymilk from my university dining hall. The box exploded in my backpack. Not only did I lose all my soymilk, I now have replace my $120 calculator. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16840

You deserved it

67794

Tweet

Share

By obviously a scumbag criminal - 24/11/2017 19:00

Today, I took a drug test for probation and failed a category called "tricyclic antidepressants". The tablet of Benadryl I took last night for sleep assistance caused me to violate my probation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3890

You deserved it

559

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/2/2011 08:36 - United States

Today, I confirmed that my neighbors burn their garbage in their backyard. How? My dog just threw up a nice smelly consistency of spaghetti, plastic and cigarette butts on my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26715

You deserved it

3791

Tweet

Share

By Jasmine_smilee - 2/9/2013 06:47 - United States - Canby

Today, I had to finally accept that I have an eating disorder when I caught myself checking for the nutrition facts and calories on my shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45038

You deserved it

8880

Tweet

Share

By but why - 21/8/2018 23:30

Today, when it started raining, I remembered that I'd left my kitchen windows open. I hurried to close them, but slipped in a huge puddle and slid into the wall, making a huge hole in it with my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2447

You deserved it

347

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/1/2010 17:53 - Canada

Today, I thought I'd wear my snow boots so I wouldn't slip on the ice at work. I crashed my car because I can't feel the pedals with my boots on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10207

You deserved it

32704

Tweet

Share

By rapper in training - 11/2/2012 01:02 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29668

You deserved it

3061

Tweet

Share

By Badab1ng - 24/11/2011 06:52 - United States

Today, things were getting heated with my girlfriend, so I tried taking her shirt off. Slapping my hands away, she said, "I was only dating you to get my self-confidence up, I'm good now." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46014

You deserved it

4240

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/11/2009 03:05 - United States

Today, I got rear-ended at a stop sign on a seldom used road in my neighborhood. As I open my car door to trade insurance information with the guy, he backs up a little and speeds away, taking my car door with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36492

You deserved it

2166

Tweet

Share

By hoping to live to see next year - 29/7/2018 15:00

Thanks but no thanks.

Today, my son surprised me by waking me up to be first to greet me a happy birthday. He was with his marching band buddies in full battle gear, playing the chorus of Stars and Stripes Forever. In my bedroom. At 5am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3376

You deserved it

625

Tweet

Share

By patrickRafael - 29/12/2010 14:21 - Singapore

Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27282

You deserved it

2992

Tweet

Share

By whatismydadthinking - 6/8/2009 08:45 - Australia

Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML

I agree, your life sucks

72309

You deserved it

3304

Tweet

Share

By Me - 3/6/2013 05:32 - United States - Homer Glen

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks

89285

You deserved it

3892

Tweet

Share

By ohtheirony - 22/9/2014 01:27

Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35615

You deserved it

2763

Tweet

Share

By not amused - 19/5/2016 09:01 - Ireland - Cork

Today, my dad woke me up in a panic at five to ten in the morning, because he couldn't figure out how to type the "@" in an e-mail address. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12859

You deserved it

1360

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 8/2/2013 21:20 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28083

You deserved it

3653

Tweet

Share

By mindlost - 7/1/2010 02:58 - United States

Today, I had an argument over whether or not I should buy some flowers. With myself. Out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8223

You deserved it

29357

Tweet

Share

By oh - 23/2/2016 02:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my ex-girlfriend woke up from a coma that lasted a few months. Her parents called me from the hospital shortly after because she was in hysterics that I wasn't there. Apparently she thinks we're still together, and I now have to somehow break up with her again after almost a year apart. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24396

You deserved it

2071

Tweet

Share

By PrettyScared - 29/7/2013 15:07 - United States - Matthews

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

I agree, your life sucks

68446

You deserved it

6025

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 23/8/2009 02:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I punched the air enthusiastically after getting an impossible question right. Unfortunately, above me was an old fashioned mole trap, with 6 small spikes and 2 large ones. I now have 6 puncture wounds in my hand, and two in my shoulder, as it fell off the hook it was hanging on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27927

You deserved it

7788

Tweet

Share

By cathugger - 13/7/2019 16:30

Today, while hurrying by bike to an appointment, my chain broke. I quickly got off the road and managed to fix it on the sidewalk, covering my hands in black smear. Dirty but confident about my repair skills, I got up. A second later, felt something warm running down my neck. Bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1811

You deserved it

113

Tweet

Share

By "jjuuuuuuulless" - 17/12/2018 17:30

Today, my car's parking gear and parking brake failed. I watched as it rolled down a big hill into someone's 2017, $30,000 camper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2172

Phew, glad it wasn't me

282

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By jeffers | 0

#65635 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:05

if your pants are so baggy that they're getting caught in a car door, then they're to F***ing baggy

By bridgette5866 | 0

#975019 - Tuesday 6 April 2010 5:43

This was seemingly inevitable but it seems I get to do the honors.

PANTS ON THE GROUND, PANTS ON THE GROUND. LOOKIN LIKE A FOOL WITH YOUR PANTS ON THE GROUND.

COMMENTS

By xoxcocoxox | 0

#65609 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:01

is tht even possible?!?!

Reply

AnaMaree | 0

#523278 - Saturday 29 August 2009 3:39

Haha it looks like im second.

and YDI for being a wigger.

Reply

ricosuave1106 | 0

#892131 - Thursday 25 February 2010 20:29

nope. yer 117th.

Reply

bridgette5866 | 0

#975019 - Tuesday 6 April 2010 5:43

This was seemingly inevitable but it seems I get to do the honors.

PANTS ON THE GROUND, PANTS ON THE GROUND. LOOKIN LIKE A FOOL WITH YOUR PANTS ON THE GROUND.

Reply

sukhdeep | 4

#1019783 - Saturday 5 June 2010 4:42

I agree with me

Reply

rawrkittehpwnage | 0

#1076154 - Friday 9 July 2010 23:24

kinky.. haha

Reply

rein | 8

#2059000 - Tuesday 8 February 2011 17:31

win!

By HopelesslyHpfl | 0

#65613 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:02

thats horrible!

By McLaughlane | 0

#65617 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:03

ahaha omg. i'm sorry, that's terrible!

By Warcry21 | 1

#65626 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:04

jesus christ 15 minutes and she didn't notice?

Reply

joce445 | 0

#1180124 - Tuesday 3 August 2010 9:13

it was 15 seconds.

Reply

SittingInTheSky | 6

#3120270 - Tuesday 16 August 2011 20:56

lolage!

Reply

Kazze | 31

#6160592 - Friday 2 January 2015 10:03

I don't think he would be here to post an FML if he was drug for 15 minutes..

By lancewell | 0

#65629 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:04

#4 read it clearly says 15 seconds not minutes
btw that realy sucks

Reply

loveyoy22 | 0

#860916 - Tuesday 16 February 2010 5:54

I thought it said minutes too >.>

By MusicMans | 0

#65630 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:05

AHAHA Thats pretty funny, I can picture that, in front of the people and your girlfriend! Being dragged on the floor. Oh man, I'd have to agree, your lifes fucked.

By jeffers | 0

#65635 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:05

if your pants are so baggy that they're getting caught in a car door, then they're to F***ing baggy

By scorpiogirl666 | 0

#65636 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:06

Dude, that... sucks.
oww, just reading it hurts!!
...no wait, that's my cat attacking my leg.

Reply

blairyboo | 0

#856814 - Monday 15 February 2010 4:30

uh?

By puppyeyes56 | 0

#65639 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:06

#4 it was 15 seconds, not 15 minutes...

Aww man, that sucks, that must of hurt to !

But,Lesson learned, pull up your pants and get pants that fit properly.

By UhOhImF___ed | 0

#65642 - Saturday 28 March 2009 23:07

you shouldn't wear baggy pants.
#9 has the right idea