By shittysituation - United States - Milpitas Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML I agree, your life sucks 42421 You deserved it 3117 158 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TiredHomeowner Today, I realised just how skewed my reality is when I was pleasantly surprised that teenagers threw eggs at my windows. They usually throw rocks. FML I agree, your life sucks 3251 You deserved it 201 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By melean - Trinidad and Tobago Today, on my way to school I dropped my money. As I turned to pick it up, I saw an old lady snatch it up. We began to argue when a police officer came over. Not only was I accused of being a disorderly thief, but that old lady just walked away with my lunch money for the entire week. FML I agree, your life sucks 41560 You deserved it 3052 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, a few people in my class used calculators on the math final exam, even though it clearly stated at the top that they weren't allowed. The teacher found out, and now everyone has to retake the 200-question exam. I didn't even use a calculator. FML I agree, your life sucks 7619 You deserved it 478 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By natasha - 1/7/2020 05:03 The void Today, my depression has hit a new low. I had to verbally motivate myself for at least an hour in order to wash two plates. I ended up giving up in the middle, and completely shutting down for six hours afterwards. FML I agree, your life sucks 1343 You deserved it 238 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jake - United States Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I forgot it was her birthday. We had only been dating for 2 weeks. I didn't even know when it was. FML I agree, your life sucks 35078 You deserved it 8212 158 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lpspann87 - United States Today, I moved to Florida because I have poor circulation and need to be in a warm environment. The first day at my new job, I discovered my co-worker is an overweight man who wears a wool suit every day, and insists on keeping the office chilled to 65 degrees. I can't feel my fingers or toes. FML I agree, your life sucks 36506 You deserved it 3626 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By talwin - Reserved Today, I discovered that the more money I earn, the more my personal belongings break down on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 30132 You deserved it 3259 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ishoweredincorpsewater Today, our hot water tank got replaced because all our hot water had been smelling old and musty for a month now. There was a dead seagull in the tank. FML I agree, your life sucks 4228 You deserved it 283 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML I agree, your life sucks 49648 You deserved it 4106 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ssondik - United States - Hebron Today, I was invited to a fancy-shmancy charity event, and the host - my friend - told me to wear a long, ballroom, fancy gown. Turns out my friend was just being a dick and it was a pool party. I spent $200 on my hair and makeup alone. FML I agree, your life sucks 28969 You deserved it 5144 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 31/10/2020 14:02 Queef Richards Today, I had two customers who had some questions about their phones. Walking over, my cooch graced us with an audible fart sound that I‘m sure everybody heard. FML I agree, your life sucks 789 You deserved it 107 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Tampa Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML I agree, your life sucks 12780 You deserved it 43083 243 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML I agree, your life sucks 50219 You deserved it 6257 301 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ohshittttttt - United States Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML I agree, your life sucks 22463 You deserved it 158111 192 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Blacksburg Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML I agree, your life sucks 37913 You deserved it 3009 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, we got a speeding ticket in the mail with my drunk daughter's picture on it. She was waving at the camera. FML I agree, your life sucks 31457 You deserved it 5331 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Lubbock Today, I found an injured rabbit by the side of the road. I was about to take it to the local vet, when my husband picked it up and casually snapped its neck. "No rabbit's worth my money" he said, forgetting that he's been a jobless moocher for over 3 years. Pass me the goddamn divorce papers. FML I agree, your life sucks 19799 Phew, glad it wasn't me 2602 214 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Merrillville Today, I announced to my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He immediately denied that it was his because "a childhood accident" supposedly left him sterile. He has a child from a previous relationship. FML I agree, your life sucks 30766 You deserved it 5833 176 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML I agree, your life sucks 28946 You deserved it 6077 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By muffintop - Canada Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML I agree, your life sucks 35088 You deserved it 13532 192 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mysidesaresplitting - United States - Oxford Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML I agree, your life sucks 33321 You deserved it 2247 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I asked my parents if I had a college fund because I will be going to university in two years. They laughed. FML I agree, your life sucks 29727 You deserved it 5708 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Gerber Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML I agree, your life sucks 28721 You deserved it 3843 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hayley Bad Luck Brian Today, my doctor told me that my lungs are as bad as a 60-year-old heavy smoker's. I'm 19 and I've never touched a cigarette in my life. FML I agree, your life sucks 5010 You deserved it 220 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Thefaller Today, I went to my first university party already a little drunk. I perched on the end of a table to cool off from the dancing and the whole table tipped over and dumped me onto the floor. I was promptly laughed out of the room. FML I agree, your life sucks 1358 You deserved it 807 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gemma - 7/2/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom Kids are hard work Today, I realised my boyfriend is only nice to my son to make me happy. Turns out he hates children and will only do the minimum interaction with my 4-year-old son he can get away with, until he can fabricate an excuse to leave the room. FML I agree, your life sucks 773 You deserved it 354 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Screwed - South Africa Today, I was looking online for an alternative number for the interior decorator that is making curtains for me because I couldn't get hold of him. Instead of his number I found a website warning people about him, saying he is a conman. I paid a very big deposit. FML I agree, your life sucks 50349 You deserved it 19203 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stuckonrepeat - United Kingdom Today, I received the results of the exams that I re-took in order to improve my grades. I got exactly the same grades as before in all four exams. Point for point identical. FML I agree, your life sucks 17348 You deserved it 19494 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By s Today, I parked in a "Disabled" space. A woman and her kids comes yelling at me about how I don't look disabled and I was just being selfish. I roll my pants up to reveal two prosthetic legs. She then yells at me that I should have warned her before showing my legs since it could scare her kids. FML I agree, your life sucks 14865 You deserved it 644 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lumacsp - United States Today, I stopped at the light when someone crashed on to my motorcycle making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I forgot to lift the helmet shield. FML I agree, your life sucks 11256 You deserved it 52256 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Boar - United States - Albuquerque Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML I agree, your life sucks 28187 You deserved it 2029 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, the guy I've been madly in love with for ages finally asked me out. I excitedly said yes. I waited a half an hour for him to show up, with another girl and say, "Where's your date?" I was asked to go on a double date, but apparently he forgot to tell me. FML I agree, your life sucks 30313 You deserved it 2113 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By spiderwoman - United Kingdom Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 20245 You deserved it 32086 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By zarko - Croatia - Zagreb The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one! Today, I created myself a Dropbox folder named "Traffic fines". FML I agree, your life sucks 3270 You deserved it 5521 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By immunizations - Canada Today, while parking my car, I accidentally bumped into the car in front of me, making a small, barely noticeable dent. I felt bad, wrote an apology note, and stuck it on his windshield. An hour later, he replied by keying the entire right side of my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 30602 You deserved it 10612 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, a soldier in my unit had unknowingly lost a GPS in the woods and my section was sent to go find it. After hours of wading through chest high swamps in 32 degree weather, the GPS was found, thanks to the soldier who lost it. It was in his vest. FML I agree, your life sucks 32082 You deserved it 2302 174 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Roses are Red - United States - Ridgeland Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML I agree, your life sucks 36316 You deserved it 13060 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Denmark Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML I agree, your life sucks 43267 You deserved it 3570 336 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By trainE - United States Today, I was masturbating in my room when my dog started to bark obnoxiously. He does this all the time so I ignored it and kept going. This went on for about a half hour. When I went downstairs, I found an open door and an empty TV stand. FML I agree, your life sucks 22284 You deserved it 94361 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Damm - United States Today, I have an auto immune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML I agree, your life sucks 37208 You deserved it 2740 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By meggieeeee92 | 27 #6163712 - Monday 5 January 2015 17:31 I would request a new roommate. That is disgusting. Who does that? Send a private message 402 2 Reply
By shinikageWolf | 15 #6163715 - Monday 5 January 2015 17:32 God forbid they move their ass a bit and shit in the toilet like a normal human being. Send a private message 341 1 Reply
By meggieeeee92 | 27 #6163712 - Monday 5 January 2015 17:31 I would request a new roommate. That is disgusting. Who does that? Send a private message 402 2 Reply
Reply Cass_x | 22 #6163732 - Monday 5 January 2015 17:41 OP's roommate obviously Send a private message 24 47 Reply
Reply ohSNAPyall | 26 #6163765 - Monday 5 January 2015 18:27 Someone who should not be living in the dorms. Send a private message 46 0 Reply
Reply vikky538 | 28 #6163781 - Monday 5 January 2015 18:53 or a new bathtub... Send a private message 13 2 Reply
Reply pandalover69 | 26 #6163793 - Monday 5 January 2015 19:12 Why is #27 down voted, it's true. Trust me. Send a private message 28 8 Reply
Reply ArturoRamirez | 16 #6163801 - Monday 5 January 2015 19:17 I just realized, where did the roommate shower if the bathtub was full of crap? Send a private message 77 1 Reply
Reply jbombdighetty | 11 #6163816 - Monday 5 January 2015 19:27 the toilet Send a private message 75 3 Reply
Reply Arathis | 19 #6163979 - Monday 5 January 2015 22:09 What a shitty roommate. Send a private message 22 13 Reply
Reply BodyCountEndless | 20 #6164022 - Monday 5 January 2015 23:36 You can just let yourself out Send a private message 16 2 Reply
Reply shessohighh | 10 #6164024 - Monday 5 January 2015 23:38 I am really hoping OP meant to say "sitting" and got auto corrected. D: Send a private message 18 8 Reply
Reply jojimugo | 20 #6164030 - Monday 5 January 2015 23:49 #38 when someone is shitting in the bathtub I don't think showering is high on their list of things to do Send a private message 40 0 Reply
Reply PhoenixMartinez | 29 #6164145 - Tuesday 6 January 2015 1:45 #38 maybe they have a separate shower Send a private message 5 3 Reply
Reply Frammy007 | 7 #6164216 - Tuesday 6 January 2015 3:19 Yes, in the real world you can get out of your lease simply by requesting your landlord kick them out and find you a new roommate! Send a private message 1 8 Reply
Reply lonerlarry123 | 12 #6165026 - Tuesday 6 January 2015 23:48 clearly OPs roommate Send a private message 0 1 Reply
Reply Xkillz302 | 10 #6621868 - Sunday 5 June 2016 21:17 serial killers , lunatics , social path, psychopaths Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By slimkelsey | 17 #6163713 - Monday 5 January 2015 17:32 That is completely freaking nasty. Send a private message 96 7 Reply
Reply Classy_Sassy_15 | 15 #6163981 - Monday 5 January 2015 22:12 Yea that surely is a shitty situation! Send a private message 6 26 Reply
Reply angiemarie96 | 25 #6164000 - Monday 5 January 2015 22:41 No kidding, hence their username... Send a private message 9 2 Reply
By EKDH | 11 #6163714 - Monday 5 January 2015 17:32 Wtf! That calls for a major intervention and new roommate. And a lot of gas masks Send a private message 94 5 Reply
Reply JustinJK | 21 #6163815 - Monday 5 January 2015 19:27 They might be in an apartment with a lease agreement. might not be able to just get a new roommate Send a private message 6 1 Reply
Reply patrickalamo | 47 #6164018 - Monday 5 January 2015 23:26 One of life's bleachable moments. Send a private message 14 1 Reply
Reply Lanker | 17 #6164046 - Tuesday 6 January 2015 0:05 #3 OP is also gonna need a new bathtub. Send a private message 2 1 Reply
Reply allieloo081 | 12 #6164858 - Tuesday 6 January 2015 19:48 And about sixty gallons of bleach Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By shinikageWolf | 15 #6163715 - Monday 5 January 2015 17:32 God forbid they move their ass a bit and shit in the toilet like a normal human being. Send a private message 341 1 Reply
By man_in_black08 | 28 #6163716 - Monday 5 January 2015 17:34 That is a violation in the room mate agreement! Send a private message 132 7 Reply
Reply Aquaman911 | 18 #6163725 - Monday 5 January 2015 17:38 Bazinga! Send a private message 44 11 Reply
Reply Uuuuxc | 7 #6164147 - Tuesday 6 January 2015 1:49 that is a violation of a lot of things. Number one being common human decency Send a private message 11 8 Reply
By tazmanmike2013 | 17 #6163717 - Monday 5 January 2015 17:34 Sounds like your roommate needs a little "wall to wall counseling" before you put them on the street. Send a private message 23 8 Reply
By The_Avatar | 22 #6163718 - Monday 5 January 2015 17:34 I threw up a little in my mouth... Fyl op Send a private message 27 19 Reply
Reply lazrguideddonut | 3 #6163931 - Monday 5 January 2015 21:11 Theres a button for that, mate. Send a private message 0 20 Reply
Reply LowExpectations | 30 #6163950 - Monday 5 January 2015 21:32 There's a button for throwing up in your mouth? Ew. Send a private message 37 0 Reply
Reply The_Avatar | 22 #6164284 - Tuesday 6 January 2015 4:38 Hahaha for some of these i totally feel there should be Send a private message 10 1 Reply
By thinblue32 | 15 #6163719 - Monday 5 January 2015 17:34 Makes me wonder what happened to the toilet.. Send a private message 70 2 Reply
Reply PhilSnake22 | 13 #6164003 - Monday 5 January 2015 22:52 By the sounds of it, absolutely nothing at all. Send a private message 17 1 Reply
By Michael903 | 18 #6163721 - Monday 5 January 2015 17:36 That is why I say, No roommates EVER!" Send a private message 19 23 Reply
Reply pandalover69 | 26 #6163797 - Monday 5 January 2015 19:14 Most people don't have that luxury. Either your really lucky or you still live with your parents. Send a private message 19 3 Reply
Reply elcee1987 | 18 #6163864 - Monday 5 January 2015 20:04 I'm with #9. I choose to skimp a bit and pay for my own apt now than have roommates ever again. Bitches be crazy. Send a private message 16 2 Reply
Reply NakedandAfraid | 14 #6163902 - Monday 5 January 2015 20:38 Downed for random, lone quotation mark. Send a private message 5 19 Reply
By magikarpsmurfs | 19 #6163722 - Monday 5 January 2015 17:37 That's a "shitty" situation.. Send a private message 13 50 Reply
Reply badluckalex | 23 #6163832 - Monday 5 January 2015 19:41 so did you... Send a private message 3 22 Reply
Reply Flaming_Pandas | 15 #6163908 - Monday 5 January 2015 20:47 Wow good one man I just laughed my fucking ass off at that work of art. Keep up the great puns. -No one ever Send a private message 4 22 Reply
Reply theaaxis | 27 #6164303 - Tuesday 6 January 2015 5:00 OP did it themself this time! Pay a tad more attention ;) Send a private message 3 2 Reply
Today, I found out my best friend is having a full-blown affair with her coworker. She's a minor. He's not. FML I agree, your life sucks 101 You deserved it 12 0 Comments
Today, I went to a strip club for the first time ever and was about to enjoy a private dance when the stripper stepped onto my chair, between my legs,... I agree, your life sucks 246 You deserved it 69 3 Comments