By Anonymous - 30/08/2013 00:48 - United Kingdom
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I'm guessing the people ydi'ing this must agree with your mum and also be racist, because there is no way this is not an fyl.
Not always. As I am not racist at all but thinks OP is at fault for talking to the mom after 5 years of the same crap. You can not control anyone's actions. But you can control your actions and by keep on going back to the mom and her bullshit OP is saying the mom's actions are ok. OP could very easily tell her mom to f off the 1st time she said hateful shit. But she picked to keep talking to her mom to here that crap. So IMO YDI OP. stand up for your man and yourself.
My mother never went on a rant, although she's slightly the same way with my boyfriend. She's gotten mad at me and said, "Yep. I guess you're gonna go talk to your nigger boyfriend." And it hurts so much. It upsets me to see her have racist moments. OP's mom has no idea what she's doing to the OP. I don't know how the OP can manage to deal with that. It shouldn't matter who we date. This isn't the 1950s anymore. Whatever happened to individualism? OP, word of advice: ignore your mom. I've cried over the things my mother said about my boyfriend, but I realize it doesn't matter. All that matters is that he loves you, and you love him. Fuck what your mother has to say.
Just wanted to add this: you don't need your mom's approval for your relationship to be real, if that ever bothered you. I've always wanted my mom's approval, and considering your mom is racist like mine, just ignore her. Even the fact that she thinks not having a boyfriend means you're a no life. *sigh*. So many things wrong with her thought process, if she has one.
I hear you, 11. I dated a Chinese man for many years. My grandmother, father, and mother met us at dinner. They proceeded to call him "Chink Chan." When he would ask a question, they would answer with "ching chang chong." We walked out after ten minutes. I then got yelled out for dating the "Railroad King" and how I needed to get my head out of my ass and stop dating a dirty commie.
#32: I'm so sorry about that. That's just awful. They just love to throw in the extra stereotypes and names to make you feel their hatred for you dating a Chinese man. Ugh. I'm glad you didn't put up with that. I know he must have felt like a burden on your family, that's the worst of it. A racist family member can destroy a beautiful relationship if they wanted to.
I still think that making her racist attitude public is an appropriate way to go about this. You'll never be able to change her mind, so why not let the public punish her for being an openly bigoted asstard? Then again, I probably am somewhat petty with this... but some people deserve such treatment.
It was the cause of our break up. Not that I agreed, but he felt that he should not come between my family and I. Which is laughable, because I never really forgave them for the way they made him feel. I am now, strangely enough, dating a black man myself. I dont speak with my family and they are not part of our lives.