Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Isn't it ironic, don't you think?
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, my mother made me a delicious meal of gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries. Overjoyed, I tried to give her a hug. Instead, I accidentally punched her in the face. FML
Barred for life
Today, I went to my favorite restaurant with my mother. The food took a little longer than usual to arrive and my mom threw a fit, complete with kicking and screaming, in the middle of the restaurant. My mom and I are both banned for life. FML
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
Hank Pecker
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Sabotage!
Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML
Respect
Today, I came home from school and went upstairs to sit on the balcony. I walked past my mom and said hello. She then got mad at me because I didn't ask how her day was. She said I should stay in my room and that I don't deserve dinner because I don't value her tasks in the house. FML
Top comments
dimerneckel 22
Her emotions were all scrambled up!
buckdharma 38
It could have been worse. You could have came home 5 months late, and she hits you with a chicken.
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Comments (71)
mld4657 28
when it's dinner time your ass better not be late regardless off the situation. Lol. rules at my house
metreman 19
the yolk was on you
ber4fun 23
I'd hate to see what would happen if you were an hour late.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
It's a very aggressive and uncalled for reaction. Your mom's got issues.
captainsmegma 12
Well now you know the rules. Don't be late for dinner again.
shutupshane12 12
That's eggciting
sam193 14
She obviously just got a little egg-cited
Dean_N 15
God I cracked up when I read this
Ohshitdude 21
Makes me never want to be late to dinner again
VittorioCarter 8
That's a little harsh for coming home 5 minutes late