pasquale
Parramatta, Australia
Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Laura
United States
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
MereLewis95
United Kingdom
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Anonymous
North Olmsted, United States
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Anonymous
Isn't it ironic, don't you think?
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
emeraldarcher74
Lake Stevens, United States
Today, my mother made me a delicious meal of gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries. Overjoyed, I tried to give her a hug. Instead, I accidentally punched her in the face. FML
tariel
Barred for life
Today, I went to my favorite restaurant with my mother. The food took a little longer than usual to arrive and my mom threw a fit, complete with kicking and screaming, in the middle of the restaurant. My mom and I are both banned for life. FML
ZeroApostle4Ever
United States
Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML
Anonymous
Richmond, United States
Hank Pecker
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
WTF
Hamilton, New Zealand
Sabotage!
Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML
Anonymous
Curaçao
Respect
Today, I came home from school and went upstairs to sit on the balcony. I walked past my mom and said hello. She then got mad at me because I didn't ask how her day was. She said I should stay in my room and that I don't deserve dinner because I don't value her tasks in the house. FML
Top comments
dimerneckel 22
Her emotions were all scrambled up!
buckdharma 38
It could have been worse. You could have came home 5 months late, and she hits you with a chicken.
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Comments (71)
buckdharma 38
It could have been worse. You could have came home 5 months late, and she hits you with a chicken.
RedPillSucks 33
Need more thumbs up
Googolman 29
Use it to make scrambled eggs. No need to waste food.
thatnewgirl 16
hey at least she doesn't throw a fork at you like mine did I still have the scar fml
FrankHotpants 31
I bet you weren't eggspecting that.
sempisaviour 17
That is cruel...
Khaleesi_26 30
You got egged for being five minutes late? That is a little hardcore.
Helpfulman 17
We should settle down with all the yolking.
gracehi 33
Maybe next time you're late, just don't come home at all. It'll be better that way.
gracehi 33
Ah, but how can he be assaulted if his mother can't find him? OP should just join the circus. Now there's a healthy home life.
LaLince 40
Violence is never the solution. you could have been injured..
gurbism 16
How uneggspected