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Add a comment - Reply to : #
I think maybe your mother-in-law wants to kill you or just really doesn't like you
56 - Haven't you ever heard of what's called the monster-in-law? Someone doesn't have to actually do anything wrong to get their in-law's to hate them. Simply marrying their child is enough to induce this behavior. I should know as my mother is absolutely horrid to my husband for little to no reason at all other than he's male and he married me. And before you ask, no she is no longer a part of our lives because she would rather keep her pride intact than apologize for being a witch. Sometimes you don't have to do anything at all to make someone hate you.
Because they know whats best for their child, and if you try to interfere you're basically telling your spouse and your spouse's parent's that they're stupid and you know everything. Would you like it if someone insulted you like that? I thought not. You have to let them come around on their own accord or else easily avoidable shit like this is going to happen. It's just how the world works. If you don't like it Oh Well bub.
Every desert was chocolate? I'll be right back, I have a trip to the Sahara scheduled.
All I'm saying is that according to the fml op's mother in law made chocolate dessert. It doesn't say she made it specifically for her. Op is getting all butthurt about it cause she's allergic to chocolate. it's really not an fml. I doubt op's mother in law is trying to kill op.
Chocolate allergies only hurt you if you eat it, right? This isn't like a nut allergy, where you get sick by being near it, right? Because if that's correct then I think it's a little over the line for you to think that everyone else should give up chocolate just to make you happy.
I am allergic to shellfish and married to an Asian man. When we go for Chinese food, there are still lots of seafood dishes but dishes without seafood are ordered so I can eat. I would feel pretty horrible if I had to sit and watch my family eat while I had nothing. It would be completely disrespectful to not take me into consideration when ordering, just like it was completely disrespectful for OP's mom to bit that him into consideration while baking.
It would seem easy to make one dessert even cookies that weren't chocolate. A lot of times I have to fend for myself due to food allergies, but when we have a big family get together my family accommodates for me. Even if it's just one dish. This way I kinda know I'm not hated.
I'm sure since OP posted this FML, either a) She and her mother-in-law have a shaky past, or b) They were the only desserts created and they were made on purpose to spite OP. I'm pretty sure OP isn't conceited like that, and especially since the FML said "deathly allergic," she wasn't being "over the line" or dramatic in any way.
as I don't think it applies to this post, I hate the "I can't eat it, I don't want it around me" types, vegetarians/allergies/ect. don't like it, don't eat it. I can't stand people that can't let people eat what they want. (really 44? you can't just eat something that doesn't have shellfish? everyone has to give up what they'd like to eat?)
Exactly, #75. It wasn't like the mother-in-law had to bake a separate dessert necessarily if, like was previously mentioned, she makes certain desserts every year due to tradition. She could have bought something or requested that OP bring something for themselves. I'm vegetarian and also have allergies. I'm aware I'm difficult to provide for so am more than happy to bring my own food. As it was, the mother-in-law knew about the dietary issues and, it seems, deliberately excluded the OP. That's not okay.
there are certain other things to do to keep the peace too. like eating something that doesn't have chocolate. it's just dessert(or desert even, not like it was the main course. as someone else said maybe it's tradition. MIL doesn't have to check in with everyone to OK the menu. even if she wanted to make an all chocolate smorgasbord it's her right, find something else to eat. does everyone have to check in and run their dinner by you so it's OK? something else to do to keep the peace....
To 67: 44 never said that she makes the entire family only order non-shellfish dishes. She said that they ALSO order non sea food dishes for her so that she can eat as well. And it sounds like they voluntarily do it, so it's not like she is forcing them to do it. And what about people who have allergies where if they are even in the same room as the food item they can go into anaphylaxis? Oh, just suffer through a possibly deadly situation so that the family doesn't have to deal with making a change to the menu? Yeah, one could just not eat dinner with one's family, but I feel like that is kind of rude of the family to do. If you really care about some one, then making a change to the menu, or even just making or buying an extra dish (for less serious allergies) is well worth their happiness.
I'm allergic to chocolate and the smell of it cooking is enough to give me migraines. (Smell is just your body absorbing the particles in the air.) That said, as EVERY desert was chocolate, this was at best thoughtless of the MiL. To make several deserts and not make even one that a guest can eat is extremely uncalled for. As a host, you should take all reasonable precautions to be accommodating to your guests. That's just simple manners. I doubt it would have caused an issue to make ONE desert without chocolate. The only way this is even slightly acceptable is if the MiL thinks that "no one can be allergic to chocolate." I've run into this and I've had real problems at restaurants about it. I've had people get quite nasty when I'm given something with chocolate, despite asking for something else. One old woman threatened to call the police if I didn't pay for a chocolate malt, claiming that I had ordered chocolate and I was clearly making my allergy up.
Actually, #44 didn't say they ONLY order non-seafood dishes, just that non-seafood dishes (plural) are ordered, while saying that there are "lots of seafood dishes". There's no indication as to the percentage of seafood-to-non-seafood dishes. They may be all non-seafood, or there may be only two non-seafood. There's not enough information to say either way.
#85, it's not about 'being OK' with the food. It's not that OP doesn't LIKE chocolate, she can DIE from eating it. That's a whole different thing than just not liking something. If there's anyone in your family with a severe food allergy (and you know it), you just don't make the food. Or she could've at least made one dessert without chocolate. So everybody's happy (and safe, in this case): the ones who like chocolate, the ones who don't and the ones who can die from eating it. Being nice is not THAT hard if you try it. Also you're saying "like eating something that doesn't have chocolate", but there wasn't any dessert without chocolate! That's the whole point of this FML.
67, yes, I can eat the foods that do not contain sea food, but they need to be ordered first. As the in-laws do the ordering when we go for Chinese, I have to eat what they get. If they were to get only seafood dishes, I would be unable to eat. I never said anything about expecting or making them opt out of sea food.