Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I offered to help my mother-in-law boil noodles for some noodle soup. She loudly said, "You know how!?" I'm a chef. FML
Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML
Today, my mom still hasn't gotten over the novelty of our brand new microwave. We've been eating hot pockets for nearly a week now. FML
Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML
Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML
Today, I felt bad about rarely complimenting my mom about her cooking, so during dinner, I raved about her incredible, creamy, macaroni and cheese. It came from a box. FML
Today, I was telling my friend how much I love my 20-year-old kitchen scale, because it has this one handy function that even new ones don’t have. Later, my mom melted it on the stove and isn’t even convinced she should buy me a new one. FML
Today, I overheard my mother telling a friend she got me oven mitts for Christmas. I got her two cruise tickets. I hate to cook. Which she knows. FML
Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave, which flashes "Enjoy your meal" when it finishes cooking something. FML
Today, my mother-in-law came over for dinner. She decided to salt the food I was preparing without even tasting it first, then complained at dinner that I'd used too much salt. She then lectured me on the proper seasoning of food for the rest of the evening. FML
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Top comments
I_am_stupid_also 6
Just tell her, "I know what you mean, my husband said he had to eat the dog's food behind your back when he was growing up so he didn't starve."
kionnalexus 0
What a bitch >.
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Comments (104)
skullbuster 0
OP, I wouldn't take the old windbag too seriously - I mean, hell, she thinks microwave cooking tastes good?!?! Start picking out her casket, it can be a real pick-me-up when dealing with older judgmental family members.
Takashiro 0
haha wow that really sucks im a chef to i know how that would feel.
DameGreyWulf 1
She's stupid if she thinks microwaved food tastes better than a homecooked meal. I've had to survive on that shit for entirely too long. Bitches like her ruin the American dream of the ideal family night!
Lifelooser_fml 0
Interesting that she thought a microwave would improve your childrens meals. What a lazy bitch. Though chef doesnt always mean your food is good. There are many other chefs out there who assume their cooking is great yet it is other wise to anyone else who eates it.
niceonejackass 0
One of two possibilities: A) She's a ******* delirious buffoon. AND/OR B) She's trying to get under your skin. SOLUTION: Don't let her get to you. Also, making her microwaved meatloaf made from a can of dog food also works too.
capital_seven 0
Hey, I'll take it. The microwave, I mean. I don't want your damn mother-in-law.
Mr_schadenfreude 0
retort: "Ah, so letting you near the kitchen is a bad move, then." OR " Great! Maybe i should just go and remove a tile from your gingerbread house for dessert, then."
Swampeh 0
microwave food sucks
msjd 0
sounds like something my mother in law would do. ugh!
SadinSherman 16
At least you get a free microwave.