Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking about the embarrassing things I've done. After they'd had a lengthy conversation, my girlfriend mentioned, "And he always farts during sex." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my hubby thought he made me queef during sex. I was too embarrassed ro tell him it was a fart I was holding in, but couldn’t once I orgsmed. FML
Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML
Today, my mother had just got home and we were both in the kitchen. She then starts to get out food and I smelled deviled eggs. Delighted, I asked, "Do I smell deviled eggs?" She turned around laughing and announced she'd farted. I effectively got hungry from my mother’s fart. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
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Top comments
GigaPudding_fml 24
"Yeah, his father does that too!"
Lopee069 4
Then stop farting
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Comments (159)
HeavyMetalViking 0
Maybe he can get extra thrust while farting, JUST LIKE THE CARTOONS!
soiheardyoufaile 4
It's why I drink rocket fuel before sex, I mean c'mon! :D
HeavyMetalViking 0
No silly, drinking rocket fuel will cause you to blast your girlfriend's head right off during climax. You need garlic and onions!
margie2194 12
That's funny control your gases
shadowtrooper 0
my girlfriend has a picture of my ass when I was 2
ProhibitionRose 14
Don't lie...you don't have a girlfriend unless it's what you call that sock you put over your hand before you **********.
skaterpaige 3
LMFAO.
The_Moustache 6
29, that's harsh...
The_Moustache 6
^That's cold...
Bryant69er 0
Wow skater Paige. I agree with everything you say. Sex?
shaniecerb 0
y doesnt he have a gf?are yall tryin to say he is too young or not attractive?
ProhibitionRose 14
look at his face
Bryant69er 0
Rose your not attractive either. Paige is though!! ;)
thewife5 19
geez Rose, bully much? ***eyeroll***
shaniecerb 0
whats wrong with him?you're not a bad bitch yourself.there is somebody 4 everybody.dont b rude
Sirin_fml 47
The minimum commenting age of 13 to comment extends to mental age too, you know.
limblessorphan 4
you are Sad...
docscientist 10
29, as an adult, it's your responsibility to not be a complete bitch to kids.
thewife5 19
Wow Rose, you bully much?
shaniecerb 0
she not a bully.she's the other B word
cod3rEd 2
instant boner . you think you have it bad???? my oldest sibling has a pic he took from what I'm guessing was a album my mom had of me and my brother at like ages 3 and 4 in a bubble bath, that he enjoys passing around whenever we have company... what's worse - a.) my mom having taken that photo , b.) my brother owning it c.) the photo being passed around like a boy scout at the Vatican ... or d.) all of the above .
cod3rEd 2
PS - gingers have no souls .... cough rose cough.
jess6blondie9 3
Um 109 - Her hair is not ginger, it's dye. And I don't see what the big deal is, pictures of people as baby's with their little butts are cute not embarrassing!!:)
ProhibitionRose 14
Ahh 111- you been checking the color of my pubes lately? and I take pride in having no soul. It gives me warm tingly sensations. And..."ain't a bad bitch" is that a compliment or a putdown? Either way, thank you :)
jess6blondie9 3
117 - Yes Rose, I LOVE looking at your pubes, it really gets me off. Hopefully the carpet don't match the drapes. I was trying to stick up for you, but thanks for being a bitch about it. Go back to your hole you twat. Good day(:
shaniecerb 0
and you look 10years older than what you are.just sayin
ProhibitionRose 14
lol! i look soon-to-be 31? **** yeah!! for once I'm not being told I look like a kid! whoo! and chill out, blondie. you know you'd be upset if someone called you a bottle blonde. and I know you love checking out my vag don't you ya ****?
cod3rEd 2
it isnt for me, and even better she dyed it Ginger :-) sorry, my mistake.
ProhibitionRose 14
138 you are ignorant for thinking everything you see on TV is true. and for having a Justin Bieber haircut.
macs4evr 7
I would listen to sirin, she's a moderator
PeteyPablo12308 20
Wow... I want to thank OPs girlfriend for sharing that little tidbit of information. My life is now better because of it. Lol.
ladybunny 0
Ah well...sad that that's the topic of convo your girlriend came up with...hopefully though, your gas issues are resolved c:
annihil8or 15
Best idea I've seen on here is eating donuts while doing it, good way to burn calories
zachboss 0
just poop before you have sex(:
Livinia 11
Well then stop farting during sex.
America90 0
livinia, I read your about you and I think you are too good to be true
ProhibitionRose 14
YDI for farting during sex. Yeah it's a normal bodily function but that'd be a huge turn off.
wisericky 12
women should learn to appreciate a man's fart.
lol_ironic_life 9
Peter: Love the gas Meg! Love it!!!
jess6blondie9 3
I love men's farts. Yummy.