Intimacy: Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma...

By Susan - 18/03/2013 08:59 - Ireland

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 692

You deserved it 16 035

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Same thing different taste

Wanker horn

By gran ruined masturbation - 01/06/2023 12:00

Today, if I'm out of breath, sweaty, or in a room with the door closed, my grandmother will loudly yell, "YOU HAVE BEEN MASTURBATING!" as soon as she sees me. It's been going on for three years. My parents think it's hilarious. I want to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 176

By Nails - 22/02/2009 03:16 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 129

You deserved it 7 243

Oh no…

By Oh... - 26/07/2019 16:00 - Australia

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 974

You deserved it 261

Great story, tell it again!

By BrianTheLion89 - 06/06/2012 21:37 - United States

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 631

You deserved it 3 753

By RatCityChick - 27/06/2012 17:18 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 466

You deserved it 4 892

Caught red-handed

By caught - 09/01/2012 00:43 - United States

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 336

You deserved it 36 291

As you were

By ryan and Zack - 25/02/2010 22:30 - United States

Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year-old boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 300

You deserved it 7 974

By Anonymous - 17/03/2013 19:09 - France - Minzier

Today, I went to the gym with my grandma. In the span of an hour, she was hit on more than I ever have been in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 360

You deserved it 4 305

My ears!

By epistaxis - 02/02/2009 00:43 - Australia

Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 421

You deserved it 2 688

By welptimetoburntheplacedown - 11/08/2014 15:02 - United States - Louisville

Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 309

You deserved it 3 702

perdix 29

Monday 18 March 2013 16:31

Did Grandma say this while banging a guy she picked up at the gym?

obviousboy 8

Monday 18 March 2013 16:49

Grandmas: calling it like it is since they stopped giving a ****.

Comments

lazyfoo92 4

Monday 18 March 2013 16:29

Video games are even a physical activity nowadays so how does that work?

SmallyBigs 9

Monday 18 March 2013 16:37

Having sex takes care of both of those activities.

Enslaved 36

Monday 18 March 2013 17:01

And what about the ones that just lie there like a corpses?

perdix 29

Monday 18 March 2013 16:31

Did Grandma say this while banging a guy she picked up at the gym?

Lrigglez 7

Monday 18 March 2013 19:59

No while she was showing the parents her light up vibrator.

rabidpeach 5

Monday 18 March 2013 21:15

demonstrating while she was visiting them at the cemetary

Wizardo 33

Tuesday 19 March 2013 0:18

No, probably whilst he was scrounging up doritos and mouldy cheese off of the bathroom floor.

Joe9024 20

Tuesday 19 March 2013 5:40

I'm surprised OP could hear her with that mouth full of nachos! "Mhmmph Now where are my pants.."

Nicholi124 10

Tuesday 19 March 2013 16:46

At least she kinda covered for you lol

Welshite 39

Monday 18 March 2013 16:31

Sex is a physical exercise. Go get 'em, girl...

dreamweeper370 10

Monday 18 March 2013 16:33

Cougars these days.

andyyroxx 20

Monday 18 March 2013 16:37

Yeah, and what about you, Grandma?

st333ph 12

Tuesday 19 March 2013 5:02

That's a question who's answer I would not want to hear.

zingline89 18

Monday 18 March 2013 16:41

Go bang a dude on a treadmill and kill two birds with one stone.

Pleonasm 35

Monday 18 March 2013 17:17

Or just ride a space hopper to a similar effect

zingline89 18

Monday 18 March 2013 17:28

A space hopper/***** combination...hmm...to the patent office!!

Pleonasm 35

Monday 18 March 2013 17:45

Dildopper!

sugarshane007 20

Monday 18 March 2013 16:45

Nothing quite cures the burn when delivered from Grandma.

obviousboy 8

Monday 18 March 2013 16:49

Grandmas: calling it like it is since they stopped giving a ****.

anythingmustbe 18

Monday 18 March 2013 16:50

As Olivia Newton-John says... Let's get physical physical!

happysmile987 24

Tuesday 17 February 2015 13:12

Er no. Just no.

Felling 14

Monday 18 March 2013 16:50

You just got owned by grandma.

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Facebook Love Am I overreacting? Social Media AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Technology Education Relatable Students Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 1 540

Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 729

You deserved it 53 106

The Top

Today, I was at assembly in school. My friend had a water bottle. It was a squirt bottle, and he squirted me, over and over. I got ticked off, so I took it away from him, but when I took the bottle I squeezed it and it squirted all over the people in front of me. The principal saw, and I got in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 1 133

Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely different animal. I'm eighteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 162

You deserved it 64 635

Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 615

You deserved it 88 915

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 008

You deserved it 14 100

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 957

You deserved it 38 512

Today, I finally got my 14-year-old son to aim while using the bathroom. If only I could get my husband to do the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 450

You deserved it 3 102

Same thing different taste

Wanker horn

Oh no…

Great story, tell it again!

Caught red-handed

As you were

My ears!

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