Intimacy: Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I...

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 02:20 - United States

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 030

You deserved it 7 792

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 12/03/2009 11:24 - New Zealand

Today, my mom told my boyfriend all about how she had to be a parent volunteer when I was in kindergarten. Apparently I used to masturbate in class by rubbing myself against the edges of chairs and tables. The teacher thought it would be best if my mom was there to make me stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157 234

You deserved it 18 039

By Bad Mommy - 21/06/2012 05:40 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 321

You deserved it 9 428

By JSeth - 04/07/2009 16:52 - Canada

Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in grade 10. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 726

You deserved it 10 163

They grow up so fast these days…

By Anonymous - 11/07/2022 06:00

Today, my 5 year-old and I walked in on a girl giving her boyfriend a blow job in the washroom at the playground. Last week we found a crack pipe on the picnic table. So many conversations I wish we could have waited for… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 160

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 229

You deserved it 96 429

Make it stop

By shitty shit - 26/05/2015 15:40 - United States - Carmel

Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 179

You deserved it 3 889

By anon - 23/03/2015 02:24 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 323

You deserved it 2 926

How could you?

By Anonymous - 29/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 685

By stressedmom36 - 13/08/2015 23:50 - United States - Tampa

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 388

You deserved it 2 776

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 20:51 - United States

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 090

You deserved it 4 025

jcrook 0

Wednesday 16 December 2009 9:20

You were probably only doing it because you knew it was a taboo. It's kind of sad that a pre-school child would already have that impression. I literally blame society.

AxCxDxDx 0

Wednesday 16 December 2009 9:22

You're a natural!

Comments

Just_A_Glitch 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 4:02

woah buddy!

sadface17 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 6:53

o wow well that would be awkwar to bring up if u ever settle and if u suk at it he'll be pissed lol

jalapeno_popper 0

Monday 21 December 2009 5:12

I'm sure many kids did that. But I'm wondering why your mom would say it.

davina_fml 0

Monday 21 December 2009 6:15

Hahaha. funny shit. imagine giving some guy a handjob now and he says "damn how'd you get so good?" then you could say "been doin it since before i was in preschool" aha.

rolltide13 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 9:15

I think that's awesome, and I will be glad to go out with you

queenconeja 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 15:53

well u should be given an award lol

COBRAMORPH 0

Saturday 26 December 2009 7:40

Women were created by god to be a tool to continue the race of MAN. Thats why you are called a ho, because you are a tool for a man to use. You are a **** from day one.