Miscellaneous: Today, we had company over, and after dinner, I saw a package...

By BlueMouth - 16/12/2009 01:39 - United States

Today, we had company over, and after dinner, I saw a package of gumballs sitting on the table. Figuring my brother had brought them, I took one and bit it. I got a bunch of weird looks. Turns out wasn't a gumball - it was a mini paintball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 784

You deserved it 30 310

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/04/2015 22:52 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 134

You deserved it 36 454

1, 2, 3… FIRE!

By Username - 11/08/2011 04:53 - United States

Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 987

You deserved it 15 254

By clumsylobster - 13/10/2014 21:33 - Australia - Perth

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 887

You deserved it 3 555

Masterchef 2020

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 18:58 - United States - Maryville

Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 66

Ballin'

By oww - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 055

You deserved it 722

By nl4 - 01/11/2013 23:55 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 904

You deserved it 56 261

Defense!

By ruined_suit - 17/04/2009 21:12 - United States

Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 113

You deserved it 7 130

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 794

You deserved it 25 010

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 233

You deserved it 3 513

Added spice

By hungry - 06/04/2009 03:19 - United States

Today, I was hungry and decided to nibble on some Cheez-Its I had in my room. After I'd enjoyed some of them, I looked into the box to see how many I had left, where I noticed a lot of little black moving dots. Apparently I wasn't the only one enjoying the crackers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 565

You deserved it 16 942

perdix 29

Wednesday 16 December 2009 10:02

I see that your face turned blue, but did you also inflate like Violet Beauregarde?

kamerly 0

Wednesday 16 December 2009 10:17

thats what you get for putting your brother's little blue balls in your mouth.....

Comments

crankyadam 0

Wednesday 16 December 2009 9:10

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

abcnonamecba 0

Friday 26 March 2010 8:16

nobody cares if ur first and op I can't stop laughing

BannedStory 0

Saturday 26 June 2010 13:53

actually you did cared for him telling him that nobody cared for him for being first .

nhi1221 9

Sunday 13 October 2013 21:58

Do want a cookie?

Lunasis 14

Friday 30 May 2014 7:00

:D congrats! Now shut the hell up -.-

BluPenguin 3

Wednesday 16 December 2009 9:11

First, you're retarded... and O.P... I have one word: pwnt.

BCrazzi 9

Wednesday 30 May 2012 2:45

Pwnd*

grrrarrrg2 2

Wednesday 16 December 2009 9:22

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. THAT BLOWS FYL SORRY FOR LAUGHING BUT THATS HILARIOUS.

underaegis 0

Friday 20 August 2010 8:43

u'd think shed taste it but it's still pretty funny

Madarc 0

Wednesday 16 December 2009 9:25

Oh, you'll be fine. They even have paintball eating contests.

wh4t3v3R 0

Wednesday 16 December 2009 20:52

Yeah I got shot from through the side of my mask one time, mostly into my mouth and I was also confused about how tasty it was. The facility workers said birds and stray animals would come eat the balls off the field. I think the balls have to be somewhat biodegradable, so maybe they put some sort of plant syrup in there that happens to taste nice?

gabobi91 19

Tuesday 17 August 2010 23:23

Whenever that happens to me it tastes really bad... and they use pig lard in them by the way.

alakomonus 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 0:52

??? are you guys on crack? when I got shot in the mouth of the mask it was sour and disgusting lol I was spitting for 3 minutes

CallMeHush 0

Wednesday 16 December 2009 9:31

Next time ask before you get into someone's stuff, did that little lesson leave a bitter taste in your mouth?

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 5:51

No. Paintballs taste really sweet and good, actually. You lose, lol

lickmyjock 0

Wednesday 16 December 2009 9:51

How'd that taste?

perdix 29

Wednesday 16 December 2009 10:02

I see that your face turned blue, but did you also inflate like Violet Beauregarde?

chaos753159 4

Sunday 24 January 2010 7:14

willy wonka FTW

kamerly 0

Wednesday 16 December 2009 10:17

thats what you get for putting your brother's little blue balls in your mouth.....

athena3100 9

Friday 8 July 2011 8:52

LAWL!

morella_xx 29

Wednesday 16 December 2009 10:21

Wow, good job. You didn't notice they were a totally different texture than a gumball? You completely deserve that for just assuming you could eat them.