Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML
Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML
Today, my mom lost an argument and tried to ground me. I’m 43 years-old and own my own house, so yes, she actually tried to tell me to stay grounded in my own house. FML
Today, my mom went to a psychic. The reason? She has convinced herself that I'm gay, even though I've told her that I'm not, and never have been. The psychic disagreed. Apparently, I'm bi-curious with one of my guy friends. Guess who my mom believes? FML
Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML
Today, my mother threw a fit because the psychologist she got me suggested I visit a psychiatrist. Apparently, it's my fault because I "choose" to be so "crazy". FML
Today, my mom ended up having a midlife crisis. She decided it was finally time to get those tight leather pants that she has always wanted, and is now planning on putting a stripper pole in her room. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me a pep talk to boost my self confidence. Somehow, it ended up turning into a conversation about how much of a loser I am and how I have no friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago told her that I was cheating on her, telepathically. FML
Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML
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Top comments
ThatGenericGuy 6
Bitches be crazy
malikorslip 3
Sounds like "the minority report"
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Comments (96)
LennyComa 39
Hey you just got a freebee, do like the worst thing you can think of...since your already being punished
LGFUADnow 12
Psycho therapy psycho therapy psycho therapy.
mosquito19 14
were you going to take a huge dump and not flush?
sommergirl16 3
I sort of think thats a lie
jordantiner 0
She must be an alcoholic.
LuckyLynx7732 5
Something tells me your mom has gone from mid life crisis to full blown crazy.
mattorama 15
Seriously... mid life crisis is when you buy expensive stuff and date younger people, not pretend you can read people's minds!
bobby_blackhulk 0
Well that is a personal issue.
Salzxx 11
be honest. you'll probably do something and get grounded anyway