Miscellaneous: Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis....

By Coffee Boy - 23/06/2012 04:55 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 080

You deserved it 1 988

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Same thing different taste

By DaoOfPow - 23/05/2015 07:51 - United States - Danbury

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 275

You deserved it 3 219

CONFESS!

By daughter of a gullible cunt - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, as per usual, my mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret". Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 292

You deserved it 2 752

By Anonymous - 23/06/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, my mom went to a psychic. The reason? She has convinced herself that I'm gay, even though I've told her that I'm not and never have been. The psychic disagreed. Apparently, I'm bicurious with one of my guy friends. Guess who my mom believes? FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 848

You deserved it 3 687

By ughh - 22/11/2011 13:22 - United States

Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 107

You deserved it 5 902

By misi - 22/06/2019 16:00

Today, my mother threw a fit because the psychologist she got me suggested I visit a psychiatrist. Apparently, it's my fault because I "choose" to be so "crazy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 726

You deserved it 125

By cookie_lover_xx - 15/10/2015 06:24 - United States - Chandler

Today, my mom ended up having a midlife crisis. She decided it was finally time to get those tight leather pants that she has always wanted, and is now planning on putting a stripper pole in her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 561

You deserved it 2 041

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 20:29 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me a pep talk to boost my self confidence. Somehow, it ended up turning into a conversation about how much of a loser I am and how I have no friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 076

You deserved it 2 872

By iGotSkill - 31/10/2009 01:32 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago told her that I was cheating on her, telepathically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 292

You deserved it 2 901

By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 06:24 - United States - Tucson

Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 050

You deserved it 1 921

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 673

You deserved it 121

ThatGenericGuy 6

Saturday 23 June 2012 14:52

Bitches be crazy

malikorslip 3

Saturday 23 June 2012 14:51

Sounds like "the minority report"

Comments

LennyComa 39

Saturday 23 June 2012 21:47

Hey you just got a freebee, do like the worst thing you can think of...since your already being punished

LGFUADnow 12

Saturday 23 June 2012 22:25

Psycho therapy psycho therapy psycho therapy.

mosquito19 14

Saturday 23 June 2012 23:27

were you going to take a huge dump and not flush?

sommergirl16 3

Sunday 24 June 2012 0:28

I sort of think thats a lie

jordantiner 0

Sunday 24 June 2012 3:39

She must be an alcoholic.

LuckyLynx7732 5

Sunday 24 June 2012 5:29

Something tells me your mom has gone from mid life crisis to full blown crazy.

mattorama 15

Tuesday 26 June 2012 0:12

Seriously... mid life crisis is when you buy expensive stuff and date younger people, not pretend you can read people's minds!

bobby_blackhulk 0

Sunday 24 June 2012 17:14

Well that is a personal issue.

Salzxx 11

Sunday 25 September 2016 18:41

be honest. you'll probably do something and get grounded anyway

Keywords

Work Management Love Jealousy Relationship advice Mental health Relatable Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Food Ironic Money Birthday Family Gifts Mother in law Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird AITA Argument Fear Insects

The Top

Today, I went to a fancy restaurant. I was coming right from work and brought a change of clothes with me. I parked in an empty corner of the parking lot to change. As I was pulling my pants up, I noticed that I was facing an apartment complex where an old guy was watching me from his balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 271

You deserved it 19 596

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 140

You deserved it 12 374

The Top

Today, I was hanging out with a couple of friends and one of them tells a funny story about how he filled a condom with syrup and put it in his friend's mouth while he was asleep. Me with my big mouth starts to say, "Condoms taste na--" and stopped myself as everyone started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 744

You deserved it 27 963

Today, it’s been a couple of days since I hurt my knee. What did I do? Fall asleep sitting up, and somehow locking my knees. It’s been at least a week already. I’m only 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 85

Today, my mother called me "wasteful" because I left the refrigerator door open and that "electricity money doesn’t grow on trees." This is the same person who lets my little sister have her light on all night, because she’s scared of the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 1 374

Today, the whole family came over to celebrate my 18th birthday. My grandfather bought me a giant mathematics book. Apparently, he didn't want my 16 year old sister to be "jealous", so he got her the new iPad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 245

You deserved it 2 084

Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 395

You deserved it 4 636

Today, I finally realized how stupid I am, when I answered a question correctly in class and my teacher started clapping and cheering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 867

You deserved it 4 504

Same thing different taste

CONFESS!

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