Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I was trying to find my missing purple pen in the house I share with my boyfriend and his 57 year-old mother. I checked her room just in case, only to open a drawer and be greeted by a dildo. I’m never going to unsee that. FML
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Top comments
Silent_Harmony 3
YDI, You really should put those away when you're done.
ohheykiwi 2
You're lucky. My mom would beat me with it.
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Comments (78)
danielbudzynski 0
Hahaha, that's hilarious! Maybe she wanted to use it later
meowmeowwkitty 0
that's nasty.
Nenor_fml 0
i don't get it...why is this an fml? did you borrow your mom's ***** or something?
iChel413 6
Its an FML because it's embarrassing when your parent finds personal things like this.
Shizden 0
I like turtles. Donatello is my favorite.
FreddyLunch 0
Mine is Raphael
ohheykiwi 2
You're lucky. My mom would beat me with it.
HailSatan 0
Thank you for giving me the best mental image ever XD
srammer99 0
thank you for giving me nightmares
xxlillyxx 0
umm thats not acward at all.... (sorry idk how to spell it)
meowmeowwkitty 0
prob all that weed....
Victoria_fml 0
Awkward, but it seems like your mother doesn't mind so much...
allmidnighteyes 11
Or share with it.
monoxide 0
mom has a history of ****** turning into chew toys for ole fido? lol still sucks though
enycel 0
sounds like ur mom has experienced the dog playin with someone else' toys
bigbossbadass 0
go find a real **** u can hav mine if u want lol
ithedarkknight 0
Forreal #28 fck a toy mess with a boy! LoL there isn't anything better then the real thing. And i know how to work it =P
lilemo 0
u guys have to realize that not all girls use them for their own pleasure. I use them to **** my gf, an yes we r lesbians.