Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I was trying to find my missing purple pen in the house I share with my boyfriend and his 57 year-old mother. I checked her room just in case, only to open a drawer and be greeted by a dildo. I’m never going to unsee that. FML
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Top comments
Silent_Harmony 3
YDI, You really should put those away when you're done.
ohheykiwi 2
You're lucky. My mom would beat me with it.
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Comments (78)
fmh123 0
hot
deathxlipgloss 0
your mom is kinda like mine!
gothymama 0
LMAO, could've been worse, could've been an opened pack of condoms.
luva1s 0
what a heart to heart talk! =))
Shlizabeth 0
Hahaha, that's hilarious, but don't worry, that's hot you have a *****. I don't have one, but still, I don't think it's much to be embarrassed about.
tenkenshi 2
Listen to your mother, she probably knows about the dog from experience.
Einstein714 0
cool mom, I hope it was clean, maybe it wasn't so she made the dog comment cause he would smell it.. eeewwwwww
AmericanGirl69 0
you're Santa, just get her a new one for Christmas..?
Lmao_xD 0
cant get any?
mrl_fml 0
Wow, that's awkward. At least your mom didn't flip out.
birman 0
Way to go EH!! But your mom sounds cool.