Miscellaneous: Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that...

By Anonymous - 16/06/2014 16:33 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 704

You deserved it 11 000

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Good night, sleep tight

By jjkk - 23/01/2021 05:02

Today, I have been trying to stop sleeping during the day, so I decided to clean my room to keep myself awake. Four hours later, I woke up on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 131

Nearly did a Jimi Hendrix

By Courtney - 30/10/2022 14:00

Today, I had a dream in which I was throwing up. Turns out it wasn’t a dream and I woke up to puke all over the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 107

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 034

You deserved it 2 310

By Anonymous - 09/04/2016 15:26 - United States - Newville

Today, the nerves for my finals got so bad that I started stress-cleaning in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 404

You deserved it 1 543

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 18:25 - Singapore

Today, I took a nap because I've been sick for the past week and I was exhausted. When I woke up, my hair, shirt, pillow, and bedsheets were soaked. I threw up all over myself in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 746

You deserved it 3 259

By vinniesuckmadack - 24/04/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 445

You deserved it 37 977

It never ends

By Anonymous - 30/05/2020 20:00

Today, I had a "nightmare" where I found out I had more homework than I originally realized, and spent the entire dream doing homework. There is no escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 531

You deserved it 175

By Anonymous - 30/07/2015 01:50 - United States - Schenectady

Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 002

You deserved it 3 174

You sleep in your pants?

By Anonymous - 01/03/2021 18:30 - United States - Randolph

Today, I dreamt that I was using the toilet. The toilet was a dream, but the rest wasn't. My pants were soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 154

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 028

You deserved it 9 024

lobsta 9

Tuesday 17 June 2014 0:43

That's pretty bad, bud.

sweetest_jenn 18

Tuesday 17 June 2014 0:45

Lucid slacker!

Comments

ProudDaddy 7

Tuesday 17 June 2014 7:38

Yeah that's pretty bad dude lol

itsmeanonomously 8

Tuesday 17 June 2014 8:29

Describes me perfectly

blondeambition1 4

Tuesday 17 June 2014 10:22

I can sometimes control my dreams. if I don't like the way it's going I change things, but that tends to wake me up

highbornanimal 4

Tuesday 17 June 2014 18:43

that's brilliant

miniman9532 3

Tuesday 17 June 2014 20:29

classic anyone

apk892 7

Tuesday 17 June 2014 20:46

Take it as a wake up call and stop being so lazy then

Shinybaconplays 17

Tuesday 17 June 2014 22:18

Retard

ayanna_wright 15

Tuesday 17 June 2014 22:38

that's something that I would do

TopDoge 4

Wednesday 18 June 2014 3:51

I was once too lazy to fall asleep because i thought it would take too long so i just lied there doing nothing..

ilovefml913 10

Wednesday 18 June 2014 4:04

Lmao. Thats is really lazy haha. I feel you

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Work Relatable Students Noise Birds Animals Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Cheating Friends Teenagers Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Cats

The Top

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 848

You deserved it 7 890

Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 179

The Top

Today, just after got home, my husband, instead of offering to cook dinner or massage my feet, said, "Does this look a funny colour to you?" and showed me a selfie of his asshole. And yes, it did, so of course I had to book a doctor's appointment for him because he can’t even do that by himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 266

Today, I went shopping. At the counter, the cashier started flirting with me and asked me for my number. He was cute, so I gave it to him. After walking out of the store, I got a text that said, "I didn't want to say it out loud, but your pants are unzipped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 242

You deserved it 5 656

Today, my mother kicked me out of the house because her new boyfriend needs my room. Evidently he also needs my credit card, passport, and wallet too, because she kept all three, while tossing everything else out on the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 222

You deserved it 3 240

Today, I was masturbating in my room when my dog started to bark obnoxiously. He does this all the time so I ignored it and kept going. This went on for about a half hour. When I went downstairs, I found an open door and an empty TV stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 341

You deserved it 94 564

Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 000

You deserved it 3 453

Today, I found a parking spot in front of my work. I parked and another car pulled into the spot just in front of me. The next thing I know, the car in front backs up and slams into my car. Turns out she didn't notice the fire hydrant next to her spot and screamed at me cause I, "stole her spot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 589

You deserved it 1 096