Miscellaneous: Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that...

By Anonymous - 16/06/2014 16:33 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 704

You deserved it 11 000

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Same thing different taste

Good night, sleep tight

By jjkk - 23/01/2021 05:02

Today, I have been trying to stop sleeping during the day, so I decided to clean my room to keep myself awake. Four hours later, I woke up on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 131

Nearly did a Jimi Hendrix

By Courtney - 30/10/2022 14:00

Today, I had a dream in which I was throwing up. Turns out it wasn’t a dream and I woke up to puke all over the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 108

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 034

You deserved it 2 310

By Anonymous - 09/04/2016 15:26 - United States - Newville

Today, the nerves for my finals got so bad that I started stress-cleaning in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 404

You deserved it 1 543

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 18:25 - Singapore

Today, I took a nap because I've been sick for the past week and I was exhausted. When I woke up, my hair, shirt, pillow, and bedsheets were soaked. I threw up all over myself in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 747

You deserved it 3 259

By vinniesuckmadack - 24/04/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 445

You deserved it 37 977

It never ends

By Anonymous - 30/05/2020 20:00

Today, I had a "nightmare" where I found out I had more homework than I originally realized, and spent the entire dream doing homework. There is no escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 531

You deserved it 175

By Anonymous - 30/07/2015 01:50 - United States - Schenectady

Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 003

You deserved it 3 174

You sleep in your pants?

By Anonymous - 01/03/2021 18:30 - United States - Randolph

Today, I dreamt that I was using the toilet. The toilet was a dream, but the rest wasn't. My pants were soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 154

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 028

You deserved it 9 025

lobsta 9

Tuesday 17 June 2014 0:43

That's pretty bad, bud.

sweetest_jenn 18

Tuesday 17 June 2014 0:45

Lucid slacker!

Comments

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 17 June 2014 0:53

It's a dream...it's not actually cleaning...

Adam5858 17

Tuesday 17 June 2014 0:54

At least you are very imaginative.

Faded315 6

Tuesday 17 June 2014 0:55

lmao wow dude

imbatmanfir 15

Tuesday 17 June 2014 0:59

That's pretty funny though

mkayden 23

Tuesday 17 June 2014 1:06

I'm kind of jealous OP, I wish I could lucid dream!

Agtthepw 21

Tuesday 17 June 2014 1:11

Yes and next time, instead of waking up, OP can just makes someone else clean the mess in his dream.

Siettadulce 21

Tuesday 17 June 2014 1:16

I've never been able to wake myself up from a dream, that's an awesome skill OP!

91hayek 31

Tuesday 17 June 2014 9:07

Would be especially useful in nightmares.

ill_Will95 9

Tuesday 17 June 2014 1:24

Ive been able to tell mysself "Hey dummy its a dream. Wakeup you idiot."

PenguinBitch 43

Tuesday 17 June 2014 1:28

Next time snap your fingers like Mary Poppins and you won't have a mess no more. :)

Soundslikeothers 15

Tuesday 17 June 2014 1:29

That's like when I have a dream when I'm about to exercise. I like well time to wake up and go lye down on the couch

emily4040 18

Tuesday 17 June 2014 2:24

Lie*

Keywords

OCD Health Relatable Mental health Work Awkward Friends Vacation Boredom Music Transportation Annoying Jewelry Love AITA Embarrassing Cars Family Babysitter Kids Parents Miscellaneous Death Thief Money Food Birthday Farts Gross Underwear

The Top

Today, my family keeps pestering me about whether I've contacted my father yet. My father, the one who treated me and my family like crap throughout my upbringing and cheated on my mom a few years ago. I don't know why they think I'd ever want to see him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 71

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 634

You deserved it 19 265

The Top

Today, I opened the door to what I thought would be a group of trick or treaters. It was actually a naked man. He wanted to come in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 173

You deserved it 1 969

Today, a customer passed out in the bathroom, so we didn't realize he was there until after closing. I don't know what he'd shot up, but whatever it was told him he should run around naked. It's been two hours and the cops still haven't shown up. I can't leave until he does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 855

You deserved it 258

Today, I was at a restaurant where the host is an attractive guy with only one arm. I was with my family, so I didn't want to be too obvious when checking him out. It seems like I was, though, because he came over and told me it was rude to stare at his arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 062

You deserved it 4 105

Today, I'm trying to sleep off a cold as my roommate plays video games in his adjacent room. He doesn't rage or get excited often, and he can control it even more if he really needs to, but it's still enough to keep me painfully awake, along with my cold. Every minute feels like an eternity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 190

Today, I spent $500 buying my lost cat back from a jerk who thought it was his. I get home and my mom tells me that she'd sold it to the same guy for $10 because she thought the cat was ruining my love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 939

You deserved it 6 435

Today, I was excited to try out my new blender, but when I turned it on, the lid flew off and sprayed smoothie all over my kitchen. Now I have a fruity polka dot pattern on parts of my kitchen's walls and ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 339