By blakeintheoffice - 08/08/2012 13:53 - United States

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 404
You deserved it 3 705

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Maybe you should file a claim....

50 shades of grey is a poorly written porn book based off of the characters in twilight that romanticizes abusive relationships. Yeah great book ._.

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Maybe you should file a claim....

Act like you're interested and like to listen while taking the longest dump. Might change his mind :)

Maybe it would be sexual harassment...

what kind of boss has time for that?

#24, it would only be "sexual" harassment if you're into blumpkins, Cleveland steamers and Dirty Sanchezes.

HowAreYouToday 34

OP should start masturbating to FSofG...

37- lots of bosses don't do anything really but supervise haha

91 - So you're saying they don't do anything then?

Your boss, a male, has a copy of 50 shades? I read somewhere that most people who bought it were women over 40...

Woah beyotch u got a lot of thumbs!!!!! NICE!!

Boss probably has a wife

Or maybe just poop less?

snitches get stiches

50 Shades of Grey is a great book. Embrace it, your boss will eventually give up..probably.

50 shades of grey is a poorly written porn book based off of the characters in twilight that romanticizes abusive relationships. Yeah great book ._.

Nice to know people aren't able to express their opinions without being knocked down. That's humanity for you.

This is FML. Unfortunately, many people get knocked down for their opinions. You learn to love it or leave it. But, I agree, I wish somebody would throw a thesaurus at that Mrs. James' head, and maybe a 4th grade English school book.

25&31 thank you for your undertanding! i was trying to be sarcastic, but unfortunatly idiots here dont understand that. that, and people love to hate.

HowAreYouToday 34

I agree with domestic abuse.

HowAreYouToday 34

That's why I enjoy failed erotica novels where the main character is an unbelievable main character and the love interest has the mind set of a mentally scarred teenager.

19, where in twilight is an abusive relationship?

#2- What I'm actually curious and slightly worried about is the fact that at 14 you have read fifty shades of grey.

71 you know that relationship between that vampire and that pasty girl? Thats the abusive relationship. If you can't see it then I'm sorry you think that relationship is healthy and I can only hope that you're relationships aren't abusive.

61-Um you can't simply type sarcasm. People can't tell that you were being sarcasm.

Kids start earlier and earlier haha

71- it is emotional and mental abuse. This is why Bella in Twilight seemed to "die inside" when she wasn't around Edward in the first movie (never wasted my time reading the books, or watched a movie after my ex husband forced me to watch half of the first one), and he used that to his advantage knowing that she couldn't live without him. Pathetic women, in my opinion.

61- There is no possible way I could read your other comment as sarcasm.

Are you kidding me? You can fid better smut on the Internet. That book doesn't even have good smut! I've read PWPs with better plot and porn!

It originally was a fan fiction. People call it mommy porn now because mostly mothers read it. I personally find it rather tame.

I love reading the replies

That book is terrible. There is so much better smut than that. It has the writing mechanics of a 3 year old.

73- in all honesty I think they need to start carding ages for certain books. I'm 20, and I couldn't get past the first sex scene in the first book with out wanting to hurl, I didn't find that book a romance novel, just a porno in the form of a book. All I could think of when reading the book was, that it is trash. Children shouldn't be reading smut like that. At all. In my opinion.

No one said twilight IS AN "abusive relationship" they said 50 shades is LIKE the characters in twilight but only an abusive relationship! Smh -_-

It sucks. No opinion. It just sucks.

I remember my dads girlfriend telling me that the sex scenes weren't even well written, the plot sucked and it was just an all around bad boom.

131 - People ALSO say that Twilight contains an abusive relationship, so the possible misreading of that sentence is not at all surprising. I agree with aforementioned people, it's pretty messed up.

134 - What a perfect typo (or slang?).

#73, that is exactly what I was thinking.

She probably didn't even read it.

it's a shit book

Oh thank god! I thought I was the only person who saw the similarity! It's a shit ass book that repeats itself over and over!!

50 Shades of Grey has no literary merit to it. It was a complete and utter train wreck. How it made the bestsellers list baffles me. It is nothing more than an amped up Twilight Porn book.

I don't know what everybody's talking about, I enjoyed 50 Shades of Grey so much I could only hold it with one hand.

If you want to read a good book about vampires; read "Salem's Lot" by Stephen King.

When you go again, drop a apple or something heavy in the toilet and say ahhh. Or just bring earplugs.

But..... would you have to go back in for the apple?.... I don't think apples are considered flushable.

That is a waste of a good apple, sir/ ma'am.

I've read it, it's disturbing. If he gets near the end you're fucked

That would have to be a pretty powerful toilet to flush an apple. Or at least have a big hole at the bottom.

Your boss sounds so messed up..

If my boss even followed me into the bathroom let alone read passages from that book I'd be a bit more than creeped out. But look at the bright side, he isn't reading you bible passages.

Holy shit! Praise the lord! Not Voldemort though. Rest in pieces, bitch.

One does not simply interrupt potty time.

Op's boss obviously just really wanted to read the book .

That's fucking hilarious. I think it would probably be funnier if I knew what fifty shades of grey was.

Very nasty erotica book that the author originally wrote as a Twilight fan-fic.

Take Twilight, and make it 20 times worse. That's 50 Shades of Grey.

That book should be called 50 shades of GAAAAAAAYYY. *insert that seal that shouts "GAAAAAYYY" all the time*

Or 50 lampshades of grey. It's just a book containing 50 ridiculous grey lampshades.

"Dude! This lampshade is grey as FUCK!" Sorry, but I have to ask: are both 'grey' and 'gray' correct spellings?

Yes, one is the American spelling of the word, the other is the English spelling. I have no idea which is which. :P

Unless I'm mistaken 'gray' is the US spelling, while brits spell it with an 'e'. So technically both are correct, yes. :)

You're an idiot. Twilight is about vampires. Fifty shades of gray is about normal people with weird sexual habits. The only thing they have in common is that you apparently haven't read either of them

That was meant for awsumshyguy

And 50 Shades of Grey was originally a Twilight fanfic...as stated by the first reply in this thread.

False. The author of 50 Shades literally began it as post-Twilight fanfiction. Edit: above comment beat me to the punch.

I know, that's what I'm saying!

Wait... Twilight gets worse?? I thought that was impossible...

Edward Cullen is not a vampire. He doesn't shrivel up in the sunlight, and sparkles in the day. He's just an immortal frilly pedophile with a stupid haircut and glued glitter to himself.

Reminded me of Beavis and Butthead when they took "bathroom breaks" for the entire shift and found out it was illegal to be fired for it

Someone wise once said: "don't sweat at work and don't shit on your own time"

"I get payed to take a dump?!"

I hear it's a good book.

You must be deaf.

You've been lied to.

I've heard otherwise and I'd rather watch Popcornography.

I'd rather eat popcornography.

I heard it's a good book... a classic example of How Not To Write Smut.

I dont know if its just me but pressure like that would make me take longer

Eat nothing but meat. Bring an iPod in with you and watch a movie.

Man, that's actually a pretty cool boss.

No, that's cruel and unusual punishment.

What an assclown of a boss.. Time for a trip to the HR department!