By Ma_Nikka - 23/07/2015 19:00 - United States - Olivehurst

Today, my boss called me in to have a serious talk. The "serious talk" was him asking me to notify him of my menstrual cycle ahead of time so he can "avoid that shit". FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 165
You deserved it 2 899

Same thing different taste

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I'd consider that sexual harassment. That's way too ******* personal.

Because that's totally his business.


K_kanaka 26

Good to know he has priorities...

friedpwnadge 25

Smart man trying to not get killed.

if she is veing very agressive during thise times and yelling at everyone or something if the sort its her fault and I believe if its a problem, she should just be fired.

Sulphuric_Glue 16

All you people shouting about sexism but it's not sexist to know when a woman is on her period so you know to cut her some slack. Edit: I just realised I replied to the wrong comment but what I said still applies lel

I'd consider that sexual harassment. That's way too ******* personal.

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In the business world, that is technically "sexual harassment"...he could be fired for something like that if there was proof

#14 HR on Big Bang Theory considered that type of stuff as sexual harassment.

JMichael 25

32-this isn't big bang theory. it's reality. I do agree that it should be considered sexual harassment tho. or at least some form of it.

Badkarma4u 17

How is this sexual harassment? Is he in any way doing anything sexual to her? In appropriate, yes. Sexual harassment, not even close.

This would qualify as sexual harrassment for the following reasons: 1. the comment made is related to her and her body and is inappropriate 2. regardless of the intent, if it makes OP feel discomfort, it's harrassment So she definitely should report this to her HR team, or possibly the EEOC if there isn't a proper process in her workplace

It is absolutely sexual harassment and discriminatory.

At the very least it is sexist because he is basically saying he expects her to not do her job and get angry when she is on her period, and he wants her to notify him so he can avoid her due to a condition that occurs monthly to half the population. He is assuming she will get irrational and 'crazy' and it sounds like he is basing his assumptions on a very bad stereotype (PMS is the week before periods anyway). If a male says 'are you on the rag?' in response to a female being angry, they are attributing the female's emotions and feelings as purely due to discomfort and hormones and not as valid. It is disgusting.

#50 I completely disagree with you. The definition of harassment is "agressive pressure or intimidation", and this is not that. Even if it WAS harassment (which it isn't), it isn't sexual in any way. Asking a person to work with an optimal and consistent attitude may not always be possible (especially if we are moody when that time comes around), but it isn't harassment/sexism to ask someone to try to. Also, you're just assuming that he's basing his view of her having mood swings on a stereotype, but we don't know OP do we? He would obviously know her better than we do, and if he asked that kind of question he probably knows how she acts. Good god what has this world come to, where everything is sexism and harassment.

josiemorehouse 12

Sexual harassment doesn't just mean inappropriate touching or coming on to someone, it involves inappropriate comments made towards the opposite sex. This is sexual harassment, and OP should have a conversation with HR.

#55 This was barely sexual. He is just a guy who thinks women turn into monsters on their period. I'm sure he had good intentions.

good to know #42. next time someone calls me fat, ugly, or skinny, I'll be sure to notify the police as I've been sexually harassed, because it makes me feel discomfort, and it's about my body.

ghostriley 14

Sexual harrassment laws are stupid and were created by feminist to make money all people who sue just want money

FamevShadow 13

Maybe she is a total bitch and doesn't want to put up with her shit.

#54 Harassment comes in many ways, shapes and forms—no dictionary definition can capture them all. And it most definitely is sexism. It would've been a different situation entirely if he had asked that of her without bringing such a personal topic into the mix, but he did. Again, it has nothing to do with her personality if he's bringing menstrual cycles into it. It's hard to think of any possible good intention he might have had.

Guys, it's clearly "anti-sexual don't-harass-me" harassment.

#32 it's called a joke. So many people lack a sense of humour on this site now.

ya but after '' biting someones head off'', she says sry im on my rag, then shes walked into and its her fault

This would almost certainly be considered sexual harrassment: believe it or not folks, giving someone a work instruction regarding their menses when it is NOT explicitly work related (working with wild animals as one example) is actually a pretty blatant example, especially when it is so he can "avoid that shit." He is putting a burden on her at work to do the VERY invasive act of notifying him on her cycle solely because of her sex without any real justification. This sounds like a pretty good fit for the hostile work environment rule. People are right that a LOT of what people call sexual harrassment is not, and I suppose it is possible that the boss was making a one off inappropriate joke or teasing. However, that defense doesn't hold water if the comment was egregious enough to create a hostile work environment. And if he actually expected OP to do this or left the communication that he expected it, I cannot see how it avoids that standard.

That's wrong on so many levels. Did you agree to his terms?

Because that's totally his business.

As a husband I only know about my wife's through whats new in the garbage can....

I play devil's advocate, if a woman gets really bad symptoms, headaches, emotional, can barely move, etc. you could argue that the boss just wants to know how and when to give her space or support. I've never really suffered any of that but I know some people do, and if I was in that situation, although it's personal, I'd probably appreciate my boss trying to understand and care. It's probably easier in the long run. However, it doesn't sound like OP's boss is really going down the supportive route...

I would have a totally different attitude if the boss was going the supportive route, but like you said it definitely doesn't seem like the case.

not sure why the downvotes, you speak the truth and her mood swings is probably bad enough for the boss to ask for a heads-up... and to most people, that constitutes as a serious talk

Despite the way the menstral cycle is depicted in media, under normal circumstances people with uteruses do not turn into emotional rollercoasters incapable of being rational, normally functional humans just because their body is sloughing off a layer of dead tissue and blood from the lining of said organ. In the unusual cases, the person with the disorder usually is not "on" their period yet (Premenstral dysphoric disorder, or PDD) or knows that their menstral cycle has a significant impact on their ability to function during the time frame and would usually give their management a form from a doctor explaining requirements or adjustments that should be made to their work schedule during the time frame. So it is very unlikely that he had any legitimate reason to demand that she alert him of such a private matter, and he was very out of line in doing so. Also, considering that people with menstral cycles that work in close quarters for more than a month or so sync up, unless he wants half of the workforce to stay home from work for roughly a week, the demand was also, to put it bluntly, about as intelligent as a rock.

Why? I don't understand why he would need to "avoid that shit", you work together. There has to be more to the story. Or maybe he's just afraid of women when they're on their periods? Either way, FYI OP. I wouldn't tell him, that's personal information.

Because we're bitches on our periods. Didn't you know?

I thought women were able to get their hormone swing under control outside of their personal life after their early 20's? I know there is still a variation, but not the homicidal type stuff

What's funny is that part of the hormone imbalance we get on our menstrual cycle is a large increase in testosterone. So if we're the crazy ones for one week every month, men must be intolerable 24/7 according to his logic. Smh

josiemorehouse 12

#29- You obviously don't know much about women. The levels of hormones change not only month to month, but year to year. A 20 year old and a 35 year old don't have the same hormone levels during their cycles. As we age, we change, inside and out. And not all women have the same emotional mood swings during the monthly cycle. Some women are more emotional, some eat more, others have no change at all. Every body is unique in every way, regardless of age/sex/race. I think the issue here is that what OP's boss said was totally inappropriate and offensive.

ColonelCusswords 24

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I found this too funny, I'm sorry OP! If my boss asked me this I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

Uh.. You can't tell him when your period is. It doesn't always come on schedule every month

Some females actually do get theirs the same day, every month. Like clock work. So, yes. You can. But no, OP should not be forced to divulge that information regardless.

11- Mine actually comes on the same day every month but I know it's not like that for many women so I see your point.