By Ma_Nikka - 23/07/2015 19:00 - United States - Olivehurst
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I'd consider that sexual harassment. That's way too fucking personal.
This would qualify as sexual harrassment for the following reasons: 1. the comment made is related to her and her body and is inappropriate 2. regardless of the intent, if it makes OP feel discomfort, it's harrassment So she definitely should report this to her HR team, or possibly the EEOC if there isn't a proper process in her workplace
At the very least it is sexist because he is basically saying he expects her to not do her job and get angry when she is on her period, and he wants her to notify him so he can avoid her due to a condition that occurs monthly to half the population. He is assuming she will get irrational and 'crazy' and it sounds like he is basing his assumptions on a very bad stereotype (PMS is the week before periods anyway). If a male says 'are you on the rag?' in response to a female being angry, they are attributing the female's emotions and feelings as purely due to discomfort and hormones and not as valid. It is disgusting.
#50 I completely disagree with you. The definition of harassment is "agressive pressure or intimidation", and this is not that. Even if it WAS harassment (which it isn't), it isn't sexual in any way. Asking a person to work with an optimal and consistent attitude may not always be possible (especially if we are moody when that time comes around), but it isn't harassment/sexism to ask someone to try to. Also, you're just assuming that he's basing his view of her having mood swings on a stereotype, but we don't know OP do we? He would obviously know her better than we do, and if he asked that kind of question he probably knows how she acts. Good god what has this world come to, where everything is sexism and harassment.
#54 Harassment comes in many ways, shapes and forms—no dictionary definition can capture them all. And it most definitely is sexism. It would've been a different situation entirely if he had asked that of her without bringing such a personal topic into the mix, but he did. Again, it has nothing to do with her personality if he's bringing menstrual cycles into it. It's hard to think of any possible good intention he might have had.
This would almost certainly be considered sexual harrassment: believe it or not folks, giving someone a work instruction regarding their menses when it is NOT explicitly work related (working with wild animals as one example) is actually a pretty blatant example, especially when it is so he can "avoid that shit." He is putting a burden on her at work to do the VERY invasive act of notifying him on her cycle solely because of her sex without any real justification. This sounds like a pretty good fit for the hostile work environment rule. People are right that a LOT of what people call sexual harrassment is not, and I suppose it is possible that the boss was making a one off inappropriate joke or teasing. However, that defense doesn't hold water if the comment was egregious enough to create a hostile work environment. And if he actually expected OP to do this or left the communication that he expected it, I cannot see how it avoids that standard.
I dunno...to play devil's advocate, if a woman gets really bad symptoms, headaches, emotional, can barely move, etc. you could argue that the boss just wants to know how and when to give her space or support. I've never really suffered any of that but I know some people do, and if I was in that situation, although it's personal, I'd probably appreciate my boss trying to understand and care. It's probably easier in the long run. However, it doesn't sound like OP's boss is really going down the supportive route...
Despite the way the menstral cycle is depicted in media, under normal circumstances people with uteruses do not turn into emotional rollercoasters incapable of being rational, normally functional humans just because their body is sloughing off a layer of dead tissue and blood from the lining of said organ. In the unusual cases, the person with the disorder usually is not "on" their period yet (Premenstral dysphoric disorder, or PDD) or knows that their menstral cycle has a significant impact on their ability to function during the time frame and would usually give their management a form from a doctor explaining requirements or adjustments that should be made to their work schedule during the time frame. So it is very unlikely that he had any legitimate reason to demand that she alert him of such a private matter, and he was very out of line in doing so. Also, considering that people with menstral cycles that work in close quarters for more than a month or so sync up, unless he wants half of the workforce to stay home from work for roughly a week, the demand was also, to put it bluntly, about as intelligent as a rock.
Why? I don't understand why he would need to "avoid that shit", you work together. There has to be more to the story. Or maybe he's just afraid of women when they're on their periods? Either way, FYI OP. I wouldn't tell him, that's personal information.
#29- You obviously don't know much about women. The levels of hormones change not only month to month, but year to year. A 20 year old and a 35 year old don't have the same hormone levels during their cycles. As we age, we change, inside and out. And not all women have the same emotional mood swings during the monthly cycle. Some women are more emotional, some eat more, others have no change at all. Every body is unique in every way, regardless of age/sex/race. I think the issue here is that what OP's boss said was totally inappropriate and offensive.
Uh.. You can't tell him when your period is. It doesn't always come on schedule every month