Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML
Today, I was babysitting with my best friend, watching my one-year-old cousin. We thought it would be funny to say a bunch of swear words in front of him, since he didn't know how to talk. Five minutes later, guess what his first word was? And guess who won't be invited over for a while? FML
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML
Today, I was babysitting a young boy. I accidentally let a few words slip when I dropped something. He won't stop dropping the F bomb and his mother is coming to get him in the morning. FML
Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
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Top comments
Youtube00 5
mommy, where the **** is my milk?
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
Did you tell them to stop swearing in front of your kid? why wouldn't you take your kid in a different room?
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Comments (139)
A7XRXS 0
you should thank god he is not a marine then their language is worse
pdp_fml 21
Most military members tend to cuss a lot because it seems to make the hard work that they do a little bit easier. I was just able to make a military retirement through the National Guard recently. Trust me when I tell you that civilians don't really understand what military service members have to put up with sometimes in service to our great country.
ImTheAlpha 30
96- It's actually scientifically proven swearing can lessen pain, reduce stress, and can help you use less effort.
Countrygirl5 8
uhhh ohh you got yourself another sailors mouth in the house O.o
Nerry_fml 0
hooyah
valdancer99 0
Mommy, get me some ******* cookies or I will blow your ******* ass up!! Ok mommy? Love you!
tylahgrace 12
at least they weren't participating in the other stereotype..
jacksonclarke 0
there's a stereotype about swearing sailors? I thought the stereotype is that theyre all gay.
Miss_Andi87 0
you've never heard the saying "I've/you've got a mouth like a sailor" yes they are know for their language and the stereo typing of being gay
rmcsorley 0
the stereotypes are drunk cursing and acting gay off shore
Jaxx66 21
nah. kids gotta pick it up somewhere. better than the playground or the TV, I say!
My_Nightmare 19
My husband is in the Navy too. He swore a lot right after boot camp but it's definitely calmed down when we got to live together again and he didn't have to stay in the barracks ha ha. His shipmates have bad mouths though
MsMillie 0
Just be happy that's the only stereotype they follow? I could think of things a lot worse!
ZeroXL91 6
The next FML: Today, I asked my son if he wanted a cookie. He turned around and replied "How about a **** you?". He's two. FML.