Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML
Today, I was babysitting with my best friend, watching my one-year-old cousin. We thought it would be funny to say a bunch of swear words in front of him, since he didn't know how to talk. Five minutes later, guess what his first word was? And guess who won't be invited over for a while? FML
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML
Today, I was babysitting a young boy. I accidentally let a few words slip when I dropped something. He won't stop dropping the F bomb and his mother is coming to get him in the morning. FML
Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
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Top comments
Youtube00 5
mommy, where the **** is my milk?
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
Did you tell them to stop swearing in front of your kid? why wouldn't you take your kid in a different room?
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Comments (139)
schubacca 0
try hanging around marines
malibu26 1
so true, they are way worse.
pongdadong 6
all branches of the military are like that. when I was in the army it was the same. =)
jrkardamis 0
why the **** are they ******* cussing in the first place. ****. shit
Pazu_fml 10
Chances are that he (or she) will drop the habit if you ignore him when he says it. Kids love swearing because it gets a big reaction out of adults.
earballs 0
is the gay thing about sailors also true? just wondering.
Quagmire_ladies 9
Well...at least we now know your kids career will be. haha
Prankster7o7 5
Hooyah!
perdix 31
I like the Popeye reference. Now the whole "blow me down" thing takes on a new meaning ;)
bubo_fml 11
The Navy...600 men go out to sea, 300 couples return home!!
gunman15 4
talking like a true sailor isn't that what a mom wants