Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML
Today, I was babysitting with my best friend, watching my one-year-old cousin. We thought it would be funny to say a bunch of swear words in front of him, since he didn't know how to talk. Five minutes later, guess what his first word was? And guess who won't be invited over for a while? FML
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, my wife got a call from my son's school, telling her that he was talking inappropriately in class, using bad language. Neither my wife or I ever use foul language, spoken or written. I feel like such a failure as father and parent. FML
Today, my five year-old sister won't stop saying, "Shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML
Today, I was babysitting a young boy. I accidentally let a few words slip when I dropped something. He won't stop dropping the F bomb and his mother is coming to get him in the morning. FML
Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
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Top comments
Youtube00 5
mommy, where the **** is my milk?
IAm1AwesomeChick 7
Did you tell them to stop swearing in front of your kid? why wouldn't you take your kid in a different room?
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Comments (139)
usnwife 18
especially if they are in base housing, moving rooms won't help, those walls are so thin I could hear our neighbors brush their teeth! I'm always on to my husband about language with a 1 & 2 yr old at home, he does pretty good switching between "work" and "home" but some of his friends... I feel your pain OP!
Sesh54 7
**** **** FUCKITY **** **** ****
nickbucci1252 0
**** ya mofo
metallicshadow 16
well he was bound to learn it eventually...i learned it when i was like 5 or 6 thanks to my older sister
MatGag17895 11
I guess your son will ve in the Navy later...
MsJoyfull 4
Nucking futs!
Daederoth 10
Hey hey hey, you think the other stereotype about sailors is true about your husband and his friends?
IsBitchBetter 1
OP should have removed the two year old from the situation. Likewise, grown ass men should have enough common sense to not say "****" in front of someone's child.
malibu26 1
I'm assuming you haven't spent much time around people in the military. It is a normal and natural way of talking for them at work and not always that easy to just switch off.
smartness 6
You would think that adults in the Navy would be smart enough to watch their mouths when around young children.....
ssaammiiee 5
wow... that is sad. Next time don't be afraid to ask them to stop!
iLoveBoobies21 0
mommy come ****** wipe me!