Intimacy: Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents;...

By soontobewidow - 28/03/2015 09:20 - Turkey - Istanbul

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 457

You deserved it 3 983

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Same thing different taste

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 114

By KO - 12/10/2014 16:45 - United States

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 829

You deserved it 4 378

By Anonymous - 05/06/2019 14:06

Today, my husband has always been clumsy, but am I alone in thinking it takes a special level of clumsy to trip over while naked and land with his penis in the mouth of the village slut across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 549

You deserved it 285

By Anonymous - 15/08/2015 09:32 - Canada - Prince George

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 797

You deserved it 5 060

By Anonymous - 19/05/2013 17:35 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 798

You deserved it 3 138

When pranking goes too far

By Anonymous - 27/03/2021 20:01

Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 172

Date night

By So much for a friendship - 08/12/2023 13:00 - Israel

Today, I'm in hospital after a bad accident. An old friend of mine came to my ward, looked around, and asked if I needed any help. I asked him to stay and talk a bit, because we haven't seen each other since his wedding. He said, "Nah bro, I gotta go, or my wife will kill me. We're planning a sex night, by the way", and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 165

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 588

You deserved it 2 696

By Anonymous - 23/01/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 124

You deserved it 3 063

Busted

By Anonymous - 27/05/2016 19:09 - United States - Lady Lake

Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 797

You deserved it 7 227

Gesula 24

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:07

mildly concerned by the username

Nevracceptdefeat 26

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:06

Dont you hate it when that happens

Comments

MsReblDozr 9

Sunday 29 March 2015 4:47

...are you Piper Chapman??

i_needa_username 17

Sunday 29 March 2015 4:49

I've fallen and I can't get ip

me1224 12

Sunday 29 March 2015 4:52

Penis first I'm assuming

lady_lipz 7

Sunday 29 March 2015 5:01

This is how people end up on the tv show "Snapped."

lady_lipz 7

Sunday 29 March 2015 5:02

This is why I stick with male best friends.

jake_braves 25

Sunday 29 March 2015 5:07

I need help coming out of here!!!

superguydude200 5

Sunday 29 March 2015 5:10

Dang. Seems pretty accident prone.

toametru1 12

Sunday 29 March 2015 5:14

That's one slippery slope

Casual_Cthulhu 12

Sunday 29 March 2015 5:15

At least she was there to catch him.

TheNiceOne 20

Sunday 29 March 2015 5:28

Don't try to repair that

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Work Students Relatable Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Cheating Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Boredom

The Top

Today, my grandma drove me home from school early because I was sick. I went upstairs and heard my parents having sex. Embarrassed, I ran downstairs and was about to leave the house when I saw a car pull into the driveway. It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 824

You deserved it 254

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 1 393

The Top

Today, while 9 months pregnant, i was sleeping soundly for once, cuddling with my cat, having a nice dream… until I woke up choking on acid reflux, peed the bed, peed on the carpet and all over myself trying to get to the bathroom. This is not the first time this has happened. At least I didn't puke this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 184

Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 747

You deserved it 8 350

Today, my roommate and I invited a few girls over to our dorm for a small party. We started to play a drinking game, and I attempted to chug three beers in two minutes. My stomach wouldn't have that, and I spewed up bright red chunks everywhere and on everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 071

You deserved it 44 837

Today, I found out why my District Manager won't promote me to store manager; his wife thinks he's having an affair with me. If he promotes me, she will take that as evidence of the affair, and then will threaten to divorce him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 353

You deserved it 1 708

Today, I learned the hard way that taking a 20 mile bike ride with my boyfriend's family the day after losing my virginity is the worst decision ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 962

You deserved it 18 295

Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 073

You deserved it 54 948