Intimacy: Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents;... - FML

By soontobewidow - 28/03/2015 09:20 - Turkey - Istanbul

Spicy

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 457

You deserved it 3 983

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 114

By KO - 12/10/2014 16:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 829

You deserved it 4 378

By Anonymous - 05/06/2019 14:06

Spicy

Today, my husband has always been clumsy, but am I alone in thinking it takes a special level of clumsy to trip over while naked and land with his penis in the mouth of the village slut across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 549

You deserved it 285

By Anonymous - 15/08/2015 09:32 - Canada - Prince George

Spicy

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 797

You deserved it 5 060

By Anonymous - 19/05/2013 17:35 - United States - Honolulu

Spicy

Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 798

You deserved it 3 138

When pranking goes too far

By Anonymous - 27/03/2021 20:01

Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 172

Date night

By So much for a friendship - 08/12/2023 13:00 - Israel

Spicy

Today, I'm in hospital after a bad accident. An old friend of mine came to my ward, looked around, and asked if I needed any help. I asked him to stay and talk a bit, because we haven't seen each other since his wedding. He said, "Nah bro, I gotta go, or my wife will kill me. We're planning a sex night, by the way", and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 165

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 588

You deserved it 2 696

By Anonymous - 23/01/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 124

You deserved it 3 063

Busted

By Anonymous - 27/05/2016 19:09 - United States - Lady Lake

Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 797

You deserved it 7 227

Next

Top comments

Gesula 24

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:07

mildly concerned by the username

Nevracceptdefeat 26

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:06

Dont you hate it when that happens

Comments

tigerisabelle 31

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:34

Looks like both of them are going to be involved in another "accident" pretty soon...

abNormal62 23

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:35

Now see if he had bought one of those alarm force emergency necklaces - as seen on TV, he could've called right away for help and gotten safely out the first time Hello? Alarm Force? I slipped and fell into a ******. I don't know if I need help out or noti

Justayne 5

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:41

It happens some time

AllSoul 23

Sunday 29 March 2015 15:28

Only if you married a dick.

_kyleG_ 34

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:42

I want to up this more than once

tiggerlover100 27

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:44

I'm so sorry that's terrible thing for your husband to do

prettyReckless96 10

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:45

Ugh, sorry to hear op ): guess your friend lost her friend and husband lost his wife

danceinconverse 25

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:45

Wow, your friend must either have a huge ****** and your husband must be a very tiny man.

Shadowvoid 33

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:52

This has to be one of the most beautifully worded FML's on this site.

flyingmind_fml 17

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:59

wow they r just so pitiful "little things please little minds" they deserve each other so 4get abt them and find someone better

gintwinsmoore 20

Sunday 29 March 2015 1:06

time for a best friend version of wwe smack-down!

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Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Work Relatable Students Noise Animals Birds Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Cheating Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Cats

The Top

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 451

You deserved it 3 567

Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 730

You deserved it 229

The Top

Today, I was kicked out of my ex-girlfriend's apartment, with whom I’ve been staying with, because I’m a 'bad influence to her two sons' since I’m an 'alcoholic who passed out and pissed the couch.” I’ve been sober since the beginning of January, and have been in AA since. I'm also prone to seizures. She does Meth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 251

Today, after my fiancé and I recently separated, their choice not mine, we decided to stay friends, and still live in the same house. Now I get the pleasure of listening to him flirt and have long conversations with some girl every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 970

Today, I was worried about passing an exam, so I hid a note under my skirt. When the guy next to me was finished, I had to get up so he could leave. With no time to hide the note, I stood in front of the entire class, hand over my crotch, looking as if I had to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 658

You deserved it 71 662

Today, I got an email from the Law School Admissions Council saying that they received my request for my LSAT cancellation and they are confirming that it has been cancelled. The email also said the score will not be reinstated for any reason. I never requested for my score to be cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 962

You deserved it 2 180

Today, after over a week of trying to get a hold of my doctor for a much-needed medication refill, he finally called back. Too bad my phone got unplugged and died in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 240

Today, my dad decided I was too hairy and taught me to shave. This would be a great bonding experience if I weren't a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 861

You deserved it 2 351