By Anonymous - 18/05/2012 19:19 - United States - Paterson

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 434
You deserved it 3 543

Same thing different taste

Top comments

What the hell. Do me a favor and tell him that at least your breasts are bigger than his balls!

Your best possible response: "I'll take your shorts, it's not like they're covering anything".


NeedaLifeSoon 2

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He wasn't saying she's hairy, but that her breasts are so small and almost flat she could pass as a guy.

It's not because she is hairy, it's because she barely has boobs.

She probably doesn't have a hairy. chest since I'm sure that her bikini top wouldn't hide a hairy chest anyways.. But OP you should of used your bra, I've used it while vacationing until I had a chance to replace the one I left at home.

Needalifesoon? You need a brain first -_-

reddudeover 2

22 - They need a brain, i need courage, you need headlight fluid So we're off to see the wizard the wonderful wizard of OZ.

Did you not read the FML properly or something?

I thought this comment was pretty funny. It was unexpected.

calilovergirl 4

I think "needalife" needs to write an FML about how they cannot comprehend correctly.

81- nowhere in the FML does it state that Ops boyfriend was talking about her small ****. It's just common sense...

gabybilyk 5

The hell ?! He means she has no BOOBS what so ever so she could pass for a guy ! Wow your stupid

^Wow their stupid what? If you're going to call someone stupid, at least learn the difference between "your" and "you're". It's terribly hypocritical.

alshygirl 14

108-While we're correcting each other I guess I should point out you used the wrong "their." It should've been "they're."

cheetahbaby96 8

123- I don't know why you got thumbed down! I noticed that too and was taken aback by te overwhelming level of hypocrisy in the air...

reddudeover 2

123/126 You're both wrong She was responding to "Wow your stupid" She's basically asking what is their stupid thing.

^ thank you! 123/126: you're both dense and you clearly don't know the difference between "your" and "you're" either. If you did, you would have caught on to what I was doing, instead of calling me a hypocrite and trying to correct me.

101--really? Its common sense that the whole FML doesn't at all talk about how her boyfriend is stating she has small ****? ....are you that retarded? The whole thing IS about how her boyfriend is saying her **** ARE so small she could pass for a guy.... Where the **** is your head at?

Am I the only one that realized this was a sarcastic comment and a joke. We all knew he was talking about her boobs but this guy thought it would be funny to hit u people with a misdirection.

notoriousbob 11
GothInside 6
mshoes12346 3
Girreth 7

Some guys prefer them small. Maybe he was giving her a compliment.

Tell him at least you don't look like a girl with a hairy chest, or something on those lines.

What? I'd tell him he's going to feel like s virgin again after no sex for a fortnight...

Wow, that was pretty asshole-ish of him.

What the hell. Do me a favor and tell him that at least your breasts are bigger than his balls!

reddudeover 2

F his life if that WEREN'T the case. O.o

Or give him a thong and bikini and say your genitials are small enough to be passed as a lady

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twisted_cherub 14

That would be an oversensitive reaction to teasing. He's dating her. Obviously he likes her the way she is. By the way, I have very large breasts and everyone thinks it's okay to tease me about them all the time. I hear jokes about having "built-in airbags", having my own floatation devices, needing bras engineered by NASA, etc. Very few people (even straight women) make eye contact with me during conversations. When people describe me, they just hold their hands in front of their chest. Why is that okay, but comments about small boobs aren't?

thatoneguy79 10

109) Because you actually have something to talk about? Large, small, or in between, unless the possessor of said breasts is ok with it, it's rather insensitive to make references of a ladies breasts. I talk about and tease my fiancee's boobies all the time, with her. If she didn't like it, I wouldn't do it. And I certainly don't with anyone else But then again, I've already determined that my values are a bit different and a little old-school. Damn my parents for teaching me respect.

Wow, I've never heard that NASA line before. I'm seriously out of the loop.

twisted_cherub 14

129- Who says I'm comfortable with it? I'm a little self-conscious about my chest. Especially because that's all people notice about me. No one ever describes me as 5'6" with dark blonde hair and blue/green eyes. They always remark about my boobs. But people assume I should be okay with it because "everyone likes big boobs". No matter what it is about your body, if people tease you all the time you start to feel weird about it.

daaahahaha 4

I get what you mean in a way with that any comment about someones appearance is awkward and unnecesary... but youve got to be kidding me if you think that an offensive comment implying a girls boobs could pass for a guys, and an offensive comment making jokes about how big a girls boobs are, are in any way on the same level of offensiveness....... more like youre fishing for some weird kind of self esteem boost or something... Everyone jokes around and might slip up and make a rude comment...but to joke about a partners body whether its about tiny **** or a bit of tummy or thigh fat....especially in public....pretty f'in sad! I would say insulting your partners body is only fine on the conditions... 1. youve been together ages and are comfy and know each other well.... 2. you love and appreciate and compliment the other persons body....they know they are loved.... 3. you're both jokey people that joke about all these 'taboo' subjects IMO, there are too many d'heads and b*tches out there anyway...not saying OP should dump the guy straight away but why waste your time with someone who'd be so rude?? If my BF ever puts me down its in a joking way for something I did...nothing appearance wise and I get compliments from him all the time...thats the way I reckon a partner should be!

twisted_cherub 14

I wasn't fishing for anything. I'm stating a fact. Everyone thinks it's horrible to comment on small boobs, but fine to completely focus on big ones. And let me just say, for the record: Everybody says something insensitive/rude to people they care about sometime in their life. He must like her since he's dating her. Her boobs may not even be that small, just small enough to get teased about being less than average. He most likely meant it as a harmless joke and didn't understand how upsetting it would be to her.

Small-chested girls make better girlfriends in my book.

reddudeover 2

I think personality counts more, but maybe that's just me. And to all the beautiful ladies out there reading this, you're perfect just the way you are. :D

KiddNYC1O 20

So 20, are we to assume all the ugly ladies out there aren't, or are you just speaking generally that everyone's beautiful?

reddudeover 2

26 - Yeah that did sound really bad didn't it. It's the "ladies" everything sounds just a little pervy when a guy says "ladies". 34 - Look away ugos - just kidding, everyone's beautiful in their own way. :D

perdix 29

#12, what do you have against big-titted girls? Some of them are high-quality human beings. There are bitches of all cup sizes. A guy has a right to have a preference to his optimal boobage without being put down by someone desperate to get laid at all.

I agree with perdix. No need in shaming the girls who have bigger jugaloos.

Relax OP small boobs = less sag (gravity is not your friend).

thatoneguy79 10

58) Have you ever tried to put big boobs in a book? They create lots of bumps and humps between pages so the book doesn't close right. Flat-chested ladies fit much better because they stack easier. I think that is what he was talking about.

How does the size of a girl's boobs impact on how she will be in a relationship? I'm probably going to get large breasts because my mother does, and that's just that. My friend doesn't have large breasts and probably won't because it doesn't run in her family. Does it mean that either of us would be better suited to be in a relationship? Okay, I have now ranted :)

Eat lots of meat and drink lots of milk that do not say "hormone free" and see what grows!

megapeyt 17

Ozzy Osbourne said it perfectly in Austin powers; "BOOBS!" I agree with Perdix, a girls (pardon the callousness but it's for lack of a better description) boobs, have little to no impact on her personality. I've met just as many flat chested bitches as I have DD bitches. It's all in the head, her head not the guy's. Quit thinking that way :P

20- i agree partially, personality is great but decent sized boobs are nice too