Intimacy: Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents;... - FML

By soontobewidow - 28/03/2015 09:20 - Turkey - Istanbul

Spicy

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 457

You deserved it 3 983

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 114

By KO - 12/10/2014 16:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 829

You deserved it 4 378

By Anonymous - 05/06/2019 14:06

Spicy

Today, my husband has always been clumsy, but am I alone in thinking it takes a special level of clumsy to trip over while naked and land with his penis in the mouth of the village slut across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 549

You deserved it 285

By Anonymous - 15/08/2015 09:32 - Canada - Prince George

Spicy

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 797

You deserved it 5 060

By Anonymous - 19/05/2013 17:35 - United States - Honolulu

Spicy

Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 798

You deserved it 3 138

When pranking goes too far

By Anonymous - 27/03/2021 20:01

Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 172

Date night

By So much for a friendship - 08/12/2023 13:00 - Israel

Spicy

Today, I'm in hospital after a bad accident. An old friend of mine came to my ward, looked around, and asked if I needed any help. I asked him to stay and talk a bit, because we haven't seen each other since his wedding. He said, "Nah bro, I gotta go, or my wife will kill me. We're planning a sex night, by the way", and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 165

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 588

You deserved it 2 696

By Anonymous - 23/01/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 124

You deserved it 3 063

Busted

By Anonymous - 27/05/2016 19:09 - United States - Lady Lake

Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was OK, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 797

You deserved it 7 227

Next

Top comments

Gesula 24

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:07

mildly concerned by the username

Nevracceptdefeat 26

Sunday 29 March 2015 0:06

Dont you hate it when that happens

Comments

desertpunk75 11

Sunday 29 March 2015 22:30

You married Yuuki Rito?

corylock 7

Sunday 29 March 2015 23:25

is she hot?

hahahehehe 9

Sunday 29 March 2015 23:35

I don't understand...

Witchylady 17

Monday 30 March 2015 1:04

Oh no. You poor thing. Your husband and best friends are pathetic. I hope you get the house. And someone better to love you who will treat you with respect and be faithful

cbutler113 6

Monday 30 March 2015 1:25

He should be careful, he could accidentally slip and fall on your knife multiple times.

Guitargod446 11

Monday 30 March 2015 4:21

Slippery when wet, right? Can't blame him tbh.

Ikashy73 14

Monday 30 March 2015 5:37

You made my day, #77!

Tannasgh 22

Monday 30 March 2015 5:48

Those damned things can be slick sometimes

hlmorg3 9

Monday 30 March 2015 6:11

She's no best friend and he's not worry of even being labeled as a man. Time to kick them to the curb and don't look back.

Glasshoney 9

Monday 30 March 2015 6:33

I'm so sorry...:( Nothing else to say.

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Keywords

Health Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Family Fight Kids Love Work Students Relatable Birds Animals Noise Sleep Mental health Contraception Medication Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Cheating Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Revenge Food Boredom

The Top

Today, my husband pathetically tried to convince me that his “friend” has his Facebook password, and “hacks” into his account to message another woman using his profile. The dick picture he sent her by text message? His “friend” has his iCloud password and “hacked” it, and sent it himself. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 168

Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 129

You deserved it 5 932

The Top

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 108

You deserved it 1 973

Today, I had dinner with my family for the first time in a couple of days. My mum and dad spent the majority of the time arguing whether salt or pepper weighed more. This is why I'm not home often. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 804

You deserved it 2 235

Today, I thought I was seeing double. My neighbours got a new dog, which is exactly the same as the other one, except that it hates me twice as much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 134

Today, a 75 year-old lady drove into me. Her excuse was, "I wasn't looking." Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 100

You deserved it 3 300

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 189

You deserved it 55 560

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 260

You deserved it 13 100