Today, my husband has always been clumsy, but am I alone in thinking...

By Anonymous - 05/06/2019 14:06

Today, my husband has always been clumsy, but am I alone in thinking it takes a special level of clumsy to trip over while naked and land with his penis in the mouth of the village slut across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 575

You deserved it 291

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By soontobewidow - 28/03/2015 09:20 - Turkey - Istanbul

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 486

You deserved it 3 991

By Gordon - 22/07/2009 14:12 - United States

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 703

You deserved it 6 765

Cockstepblocked

By Anonymous - 19/09/2019 18:00

Today, while rushing upstairs to have sex, I tripped on the stairs and rammed my naked boner into the edge of the step. All my wife could do is laugh at me. Now it even hurts to pee or put my trousers on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 133

You deserved it 470

Slapstick

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 04:00

Today, as I was on the floor playing with the dog, my husband walked past, tripped over something, and fell on me, smashing his bony elbow right into my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 135

By KO - 12/10/2014 16:45 - United States

Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 841

You deserved it 4 387

By Sorry - 03/03/2010 16:22 - Canada

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 844

You deserved it 7 849

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 22:29 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 023

You deserved it 9 308

Deez nutz hurtz

By Anonymous - 11/03/2020 15:01

Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 086

You deserved it 524

By naughtymommy0317 - 20/06/2013 08:47 - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 119

You deserved it 5 920

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 792

You deserved it 5 500

Ashamed_Sister 60

Wednesday 5 June 2019 15:00

He didn't cheat, he was just clumsy and tripped ... and this other woman tried to catch him with her mouth. Otherwise he might have scratched his knees.

Laurea Lindroos 8

Wednesday 5 June 2019 14:39

Ex husband I hope? And please, can we stop calling other women *****? There’s nothing wrong with having a lot of sex, and to be fair, she’s not the one who cheated. Your (ex) husband did, and he even has the audacity to make it sound like he didn’t do anything wrong.

Comments

Laurea Lindroos 8

Wednesday 5 June 2019 14:39

raven_of_azarath 34

Wednesday 5 June 2019 17:40

But if a man has sex with a lot of women, he’s praised. It’s called a double standard. Either we shame men as well for having sex or stop shaming women.

Monaca_Towa 7

Saturday 8 June 2019 18:11

I mean, I assume the woman might’ve known he was married. Makes both of them horrible tbh

CrazyV 22

Wednesday 11 March 2020 15:49

While we shouldn't be **** shaming, this woman lives across the street from OP, obviously knowing they were married. Village **** she is if she's knowingly sleeping with married men.

Ashamed_Sister 60

Wednesday 5 June 2019 15:00

He didn't cheat, he was just clumsy and tripped ... and this other woman tried to catch him with her mouth. Otherwise he might have scratched his knees.

bloopaloop 27

Wednesday 5 June 2019 16:23

Very nice of her!

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 5 June 2019 16:45

You were lucky that the woman with the jeans with the worn-out knees caught his dick-cheesed penis before it hit the nasty, moist floor and you can’t play with it after a night of heavy drinking like a gay werebear at the circus!

zelda1324 13

Wednesday 5 June 2019 19:47

Wow I was not expecting this FML to end like this, sorry OP. 🙁

smarterass 6

Wednesday 5 June 2019 23:13

That depends. How many times did he have to trip before he made it across the street?

Sonotsuave 35

Friday 7 June 2019 5:02

I don’t even wanna say anything except sorry and get a divorce lawyer and my mom’s right that 90% of men think with their other head

Britt2050 8

Sunday 9 June 2019 12:43

Do you have to call her the village ****? Sorry your husband cheated with her but that's no reason to be derogatory and rude to her(okay well, if she knew he was married you kind of have the right to tell her to **** off at least, maybe you can be a bit rude but being derogatory because she likes sex is not cool). The amount of people who call a woman a **** simply because they're pissed off and not because she actually sleeps with a lot of men is appalling. I don't know if that's the case, if she's only slept with your husband and you're pissed off, or if she truly sleeps around a lot. But honestly, that's her business and her choice that she's free to make. And calling her a **** for it is just immature.