Ex husband I hope? And please, can we stop calling other women sluts? There’s nothing wrong with having a lot of sex, and to be fair, she’s not the one who cheated. Your (ex) husband did, and he even has the audacity to make it sound like he didn’t do anything wrong.

He didn't cheat, he was just clumsy and tripped ... and this other woman tried to catch him with her mouth. Otherwise he might have scratched his knees.

You were lucky that the woman with the jeans with the worn-out knees caught his dick-cheesed penis before it hit the nasty, moist floor and you can’t play with it after a night of heavy drinking like a gay werebear at the circus!

Wow I was not expecting this FML to end like this, sorry OP. 🙁

That depends. How many times did he have to trip before he made it across the street?

I don’t even wanna say anything except sorry and get a divorce lawyer and my mom’s right that 90% of men think with their other head

Do you have to call her the village slut? Sorry your husband cheated with her but that's no reason to be derogatory and rude to her(okay well, if she knew he was married you kind of have the right to tell her to fuck off at least, maybe you can be a bit rude but being derogatory because she likes sex is not cool). The amount of people who call a woman a slut simply because they're pissed off and not because she actually sleeps with a lot of men is appalling. I don't know if that's the case, if she's only slept with your husband and you're pissed off, or if she truly sleeps around a lot. But honestly, that's her business and her choice that she's free to make. And calling her a slut for it is just immature.

What the hell happened here?

I have always said you just dont trip and fall into a vagina