Today, my husband was choosing an auto insurance. Geico was $500 and Allstate was $200. He chose Geico because it had a 'cute little lizard.' FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my husband ran our car into a fence at work. He had to file an insurance claim, with a company we only just got with, and it's going to deplete the rest of our taxes. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML
Today, as I was talking to my girlfriend about how I need to find another job to be able to afford school next fall, I hit a deer causing about $3,000 in damages to my car. FML
Today, a tree fell on our 3-month-old family car. Today, I also learned that my husband never insured it. It's probably scrap, and we still have to pay it off for the next 5 years. FML
Today, I finally removed my car insurance after realizing it costs too much money. Since I then had more money, I went to celebrate with ice cream. On the way, I got hit by a truck. FML
Today, Geico called to tell me they were canceling my insurance. Someone I don't know got pulled over for drunk-driving and the police wrote down my license plate number instead by accident. Although the DMV says they cleared everything up, Geico still won't believe it wasn't me. FML
Today, I stopped at a yellow light. The guy behind me did not. He had no insurance. FML
Today, my car was damaged in an accident. At the garage, I happened to find out that if some big insurance company is paying for the repairs, they only charge half the hourly rate they charge people who have to pay from their own meager salaries. FML
Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML
Today, my sister got her car insurance quote in the mail. You would think it would go way up after being charged with reckless driving. It went up $1 per month. My insurance went up $100 per month after I tapped someone's bumper a year ago. I wasn't even charged. FML
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Top comments
liquidbunny 0
...and is that cute little lizard making up the 300.00 difference with the paychecks he's getting from the commericals?
jchansfan 0
That is awesome. lol :P
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Comments (133)
OnDistantShores 0
Why would you marry such a person?
facepalmindia 0
You think he married you for the same reason?
BeeSkwaird 0
Is annoying else annoyed by the arbitrariness of Geico's motto ("15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance")? The way it's worded, one could replace the 15% with 5% or 95% and be equally covered. Are consumers really that dumb? (Apparently so!)
ka_33 2
But Allstate has has President David Palmer....
TooBored13 0
Damn straight 14, he was the first black president of the U.S. and let Jack Bauer do what had to be done! If you can trust anyone with your safety its David Palmer.
ArthursLifeSucks 2
He's also Snakedoctor on The Unit...so he is doubly badass.
ka_33 2
hells to the yes
GoddessOfWaffle 0
If you really think David Wahtever is the the president, then you're just as stupid as the guy in the post.
lissarose 0
dude really? we know he isnt the president. @OP, that sucks, youre husband is an idiot.
bsias4ever 0
black presidents fail...... they are retarded.
KAYRRIE 0
u sound like a racist jackass!
perdix 31
Your husband is gay. He's lying to you about the "gecko" -- he really overpaid for car insurance because he has homoerotic fantasies about the Cavemen. Also, he has a money fetish and gets a boner when he sees the pile of money with the googly eyes!
xxreikoxx 31
Ugh. You two really need to grow up...
rebecca__bitch 0
lmfao
juanpaolo75 0
hahaha :-) "
Branflakes16 0
lol well u gotta admit..... the gecko is badass
overrandom 4
I would be more concerned if he picked eSurance because of their mascot.
clonemenot 0
Allstate's executive memo a couple of years ago said "Good hands for those who settle, boxing gloves for the rest". They fight many legitimate claims to save money. They used to be good, now they are parasites.
xenomorph 0
. . . just like every insurance corporation. Have you watched Sicko by any chance?
HunterDanielle 3
Oh well. Quit complaining. BC's worse. We have a monopoly & they can charge whatever the hell they want because, what are you gonna do? Not have car insurance?
mawoo_fml 0
easily switched behind his back and the 5 yearold husband is none the wiser.