Today, my husband was choosing an auto insurance. Geico was $500 and Allstate was $200. He chose Geico because it had a 'cute little lizard.' FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
I'm an excellent driver
Today, my husband ran our car into a fence at work. He had to file an insurance claim, with a company we only just got with, and it's going to deplete the rest of our taxes. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML
Bad timing
Today, as I was talking to my girlfriend about how I need to find another job to be able to afford school next fall, I hit a deer causing about $3,000 in damages to my car. FML
Today, a tree fell on our 3-month-old family car. Today, I also learned that my husband never insured it. It's probably scrap, and we still have to pay it off for the next 5 years. FML
Today, I finally removed my car insurance after realizing it costs too much money. Since I then had more money, I went to celebrate with ice cream. On the way, I got hit by a truck. FML
Today, Geico called to tell me they were canceling my insurance. Someone I don't know got pulled over for drunk-driving and the police wrote down my license plate number instead by accident. Although the DMV says they cleared everything up, Geico still won't believe it wasn't me. FML
Today, I stopped at a yellow light. The guy behind me did not. He had no insurance. FML
Racketeering
Today, my car was damaged in an accident. At the garage, I happened to find out that if some big insurance company is paying for the repairs, they only charge half the hourly rate they charge people who have to pay from their own meager salaries. FML
Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML
Beep beep
Today, my sister got her car insurance quote in the mail. You would think it would go way up after being charged with reckless driving. It went up $1 per month. My insurance went up $100 per month after I tapped someone's bumper a year ago. I wasn't even charged. FML
Top comments
liquidbunny 0
...and is that cute little lizard making up the 300.00 difference with the paychecks he's getting from the commericals?
jchansfan 0
That is awesome. lol :P
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Comments (133)
anonymous45610 0
lmfao
Mob_Hollows 0
it's the accent. gets em every time.
krackers87 0
Allstate will try to screw you way more than geico will, in all honestly its probably worth the extra money, since Allstate likely wont pay for anything ever. Theres alot of horror stories all over the web about allstate.
Bucinka 5
El fako. Who in Florida pays $500, let alone $200, for car insurance on what must surely be at least a two-car household? Unless you mean $500/month. Either way, I call bullshit.
Groucho_fml 5
don't get so damn offended by everything; obviously it was a joke
Euyup 9
well geiko is better....that's why it's expensive
immazombeastxD 0
GECKO ya rasta mum, an if ya ge' it wrong I and I wi' tump ya inna ya bloodclut
TheCountess 4
I'm sure Geico will be pleased to know that their relentless advertising and transparent (to most people, anyway -- OP's husband not included) marketing techniques earned them a sale. To be fair, you often get what you pay for with auto insurance. Perhaps the Geico policy offered better coverage and the husband was just being facetious while citing his reasons to go with Geico?
guitar0501 0
but allstate has a big, black man...
sykokitti 15
sounds like hes pretty gay