Today, my husband told me to hold out my hand. He opened his, and in mine dropped a giant mutant tooth he had pulled a few months ago. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML
Today, I was at my job where we buy precious metals. A man came in and said, "Here, I have something special for you." He then pulled a tooth out of his mouth that had dental gold on it and placed in it my bare hand. Yeah, special indeed. FML
Today, my dentist pulled the wrong tooth. FML
Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML
Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Today, in a bid to avoid going to the dentist, my husband decided to have one of his drunk buddies pull his tooth out with pliers. Now he has to have surgery to remove the shards of tooth left rotting in his mouth. It’s going to cost thousands. Thanks babe. FML
Today, while having sex I managed to chip my tooth. FML
Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML
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Top comments
caancoha 0
Next time you can offer him the giant, mutant tampon you pulled out of your ladyparts.
FernandoTorres_fml 0
A tooth for a tooth, exchange him your most prized molar.
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Comments (100)
rockstatic 0
"... I then gave it back to him and washed my hands. FML."
TuthDoc 0
such toothsome humor! ;-)
ayjayyuk 0
Divorce
sleephunters 8
Did you add it to the collection of his fingernail clippings?
Tigg3r 3
PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!!!
clux44 0
what mutant did he get the tooth from?
samantha_durano 6
haha, why did he give it to you months later??
wordgirl 0
Awww! He has a crush! :p
SugarRushxx 0
it isn't true love till you hold something that's been in a mouth :p
usuckkkkk 0
your life is totally ****** because u had a tooth in ur hand. shit u might as well kill urself now. ydi for thinking this is fml worthy.
astro2 0
shutup "usuckkkkk" this website/app is for people to post what THEY feel they want to get off their chest Its not for your entertainment where you can jack off to someone elses misery. Don't think its FML worthy? go toss off to 'jerry springer' To FML poster, i say punch your husband in the face then milk this incident for all its worth and get him to take you to the dinner for pulling sh*t like this. Seriously if I had a nice wife like you (i'm guessing you're nice) i would hug and kiss you and not give you mutant teeth...or tooth to be specific. With such a mindset, he may actually try to take a dump on you next time. WTF??