Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Sounds reasonable
Today, my husband refuses to have sex with me, ever since I told him I wanted to try for a baby. When I asked him why, he said it was because he likes lack of responsibility and money in the bank more than the thought of a screaming baby, no sleep and strong suicidal urges. FML
Genius
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Big baby
Today, my husband said sex is too weird because I'm pregnant with our first baby. He gets very grumpy without sex. I'm very horny with hormones. Only 6 more months. FML
Dick
Today, my husband threw an epic temper tantrum because I wouldn’t have sex with him. I recently suffered from a miscarriage and the thought of anything going on down there makes me uncomfortable. He eventually calmed down and said, "Fine, just don’t be surprised if I end up cheating." FML
Today, my husband spent our entire anniversary sulking because I wasn't up for sex. I gave birth to our first child less than two weeks ago. FML
Today, my husband is pissed off, withholding affection, and not speaking to me. Why? I don't want to have sex with random men while he watches. FML
My husband the shitgibbon
Today, three weeks after a traumatic emergency cesarean section, my husband keeps sulking because sex is the literal last thing I want right now. The fact that my body is still sore and healing is apparently irrelevant when he is horny. FML
Never joke around with the Hacky Sacks
Today, my husband is refusing any kind of sex with me. Last week, as a prank, I slapped his ballsack during foreplay, not hard at all. Now he says he "can't trust me" near his junk, the big baby. FML
Today, my fiancé told me that the thought of having sex with a pregnant woman repulsed him. I'm pregnant. He's glad he got that off his chest FML
He's a keeper
Today, my husband asked if he could join Tinder for some “hookups and that’s it” because he’s tired of jerking off. I told him, “Absolutely not.” He thinks I’m being selfish and inconsiderate. I’m 7 months pregnant; in fact, I offered to have pregnant sex with him. He said that my belly turns him off, “no offense.” FML
Top comments
arano 29
Your husband is a moron...
juicy_extasy 25
Show him a high school biology book so he gets educated. Win-win.
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Comments (126)
MillyG 4
Even though the kid in your stomach is from him having sex with him?
Internetflakes 13
you know absolutely nothing.
fpants2010 18
The baby is in her uterus, not her stomach.
Xamry14 10
Jesus you knew what he meant. A lot of people say a pregnant person has a "baby in their belly". He just used a slightly incorrect synonym
Justagirl97 9
except you can get really close to the baby while having sex but you'll never harm it.
tiger820 20
I don't even know how to vote on this one!
sailorarctic 22
and BS like that is when my husband and I agreed to have a baby I told him flat out I would not go 10+ months without sex. yes, you usually give birth by 9 months, but there's also 6 sexless weeks of recovery. lay that out for him, he'll change his.mind when he realizes just how long he'll be going without. I'd even go on an oral sex srltrike til he gets over it.
WinterChild 20
Wouldn't want to poke the baby
Xamry14 10
Clearly a joke that flew over your head like a 747.
WinterChild 20
No way! Really? Are you sure? -_-
worldclassrager 41
This will be a long nine months...
galefrog 3
My woman is pregnant and you just have to follow the "going down" rule. Showered recently? yes, kinky time
9a_1z 12
Ewwww you'd be licking the baby! (is what I'd imagine OP's husband's response would be)
tlnorman 18
Uh okay.....
ZihaoYuan 6
哈哈哈 it's so interesting
writergirl1029 17
He needs an anatomy lesson.
LittleMissTara 9
This guy is clearly a bit special, but I can see where he's coming from. I find the idea of sex while pregnant very unsettling. Like, you wouldn't have sex with an actual baby between you... the only difference is you can't physically see the child when you're pregnant. That's just my opinion...
9a_1z 12
I'm not sure about with the child in between them (sounds dangerous) but plenty of parents have sex with a baby in the room. It's a natural bodily function and it's not like the baby will mind or be harmed by it. Don't get me wrong, people have the right to refuse sex for whatever reasons they have, it doesn't give them the right to whine about it though.
DoomedGemini 38
And as others have said, it can actually HELP to have sex while pregnant. You can use the "well you wouldn't hold a child while ___" for a lot of things in everyday life. The baby is safe(unless told by a doctor otherwise), it won't do anything to it. I wouldn't want to go that long without sex.