Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband refuses to have sex with me, ever since I told him I wanted to try for a baby. When I asked him why, he said it was because he likes lack of responsibility and money in the bank more than the thought of a screaming baby, no sleep and strong suicidal urges. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my husband said sex is too weird because I'm pregnant with our first baby. He gets very grumpy without sex. I'm very horny with hormones. Only 6 more months. FML
Today, my husband threw an epic temper tantrum because I wouldn’t have sex with him. I recently suffered from a miscarriage and the thought of anything going on down there makes me uncomfortable. He eventually calmed down and said, "Fine, just don’t be surprised if I end up cheating." FML
Today, my husband spent our entire anniversary sulking because I wasn't up for sex. I gave birth to our first child less than two weeks ago. FML
Today, my husband is pissed off, withholding affection, and not speaking to me. Why? I don't want to have sex with random men while he watches. FML
Today, three weeks after a traumatic emergency cesarean section, my husband keeps sulking because sex is the literal last thing I want right now. The fact that my body is still sore and healing is apparently irrelevant when he is horny. FML
Today, my husband is refusing any kind of sex with me. Last week, as a prank, I slapped his ballsack during foreplay, not hard at all. Now he says he "can't trust me" near his junk, the big baby. FML
Today, my fiancé told me that the thought of having sex with a pregnant woman repulsed him. I'm pregnant. He's glad he got that off his chest FML
Today, my husband asked if he could join Tinder for some “hookups and that’s it” because he’s tired of jerking off. I told him, “Absolutely not.” He thinks I’m being selfish and inconsiderate. I’m 7 months pregnant; in fact, I offered to have pregnant sex with him. He said that my belly turns him off, “no offense.” FML
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Top comments
arano 29
Your husband is a moron...
juicy_extasy 25
Show him a high school biology book so he gets educated. Win-win.
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Comments (126)
fmlsams 27
On the bright side, I suppose you never have to worry about him being a child molester... :/
TH_Insomniak 15
there's always a bright side
TheGamingGamer 28
Yup
DocBastard 40
He obviously realises that when he's inside you, the baby might grab him and not let go. He's justifiable terrified.
ohSNAPyall 27
OP might want a second opinion on this!
FenHarel 9
oh, God... your profile photo is kind of freaking me out.
SecundusSecunda 27
OP do you want your child to be born with a dent on his head?! (sarcasm)
Xion0014 20
Just give him a ********.
Tripartita 45
Unless she's not a fan of rewarding idiocy.
gobiteme2 34
And how does this help alleviate her desires.
bapbap_fml 15
How does that help her? All that does is reward his stupidity.
acerredrum 23
I think Op's husband is a moron for thinking it is the same as having sex with his child, but oral doesn't have to be a one way street. 69 could be an option.
Xion0014 20
Uh they can't have sex so they can give each other oral. Pft duh.
Xion0014 20
Thats exactly what i meant!
DoomedGemini 38
He'd probably claim it's the same as giving his child oral as well.
Xion0014 20
I doubt he's that stupid
interesting33 37
It is silly, but he is uncomfortable and hard as that is, it should be respected I think.
ChimeraThorne 19
My oh refused sex either pregnancy for fear of hurting the babies. While pregnant with our first , I had a slight bleed after sex once, doctors confirmed sex would be safe in future, but he still worried :(
Tripartita 45
Does he only have sex wth you while you're inside somebody else's uterus? Did you two meet in a particularly dark corner of the web?
jocamo 24
What?!
FenHarel 9
Did you think Sheela Na Gig posted this? wtf...?
MonstreBelle 29
Babies aren't supposed to ruin your sex life until after they are born. I want to know what his reaction would be if he found out there are studies that suggest giving birth causes some women to ******.
gracehi 33
Weirdest ****** ever.
musoboy 22
I have heard about that. I accidentally came across a short documentary on YouTube once covering the process of conditioning your body to give you pleasure instead of pain. I remember a hot tub, midwife and massaging were involved but I don't remember anything specific about the procedure. If you ever find an instructional link, you must let us know ;)
Solano2580 24
I think everyone is missing the point. From what I can tell it isn't that he's stupid, it's that having sex with OP while she's pregnant is against his moral values and that's something you shouldn't try to change.
wrongmove 11
Well some "moral values" need to be changed. Some because they deny parts of humanity their inaliable (human) rights. Some because they are just wrong for other reasons.
musoboy 22
...and where do conjugal rights come in to this equation?
Xamry14 10
What in gods name is immoral about it?
FenHarel 9
"How dare that gross woman I (presumably) love and to whom I am wed ask for affection while she grows my child spawn! ewwww!"
philosophicallll 25
I think you're the one who missed the point.
D_as_h 19
why don't you just accept that he's obviously uncomfortable, as "stupid" as it sounds??
allplayedout 20
Because his reasoning is flat-out wrong and he apparently won't shut up about it.
wwiillmm 12
This one would depend with me. If you are only a few months pregnant I'd be fine with it. But > 8 months would be pushing it with me.
MoxleyCrue 17
More than 8 months is the best time to have pregnant sex because it helps the body go into labor.
AshBash2211 14
Why?? Unless the baby is on it's way out, you're good to go! Gah I hate men that think is ok to use this as an excuse