Today, my husband is sulking because he "can't" have sex with me. I've tried initiating things multiple times, but he keeps saying no, because I'm pregnant and he says it'd be exactly the same as having sex with his own kid. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband refuses to have sex with me, ever since I told him I wanted to try for a baby. When I asked him why, he said it was because he likes lack of responsibility and money in the bank more than the thought of a screaming baby, no sleep and strong suicidal urges. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my husband said sex is too weird because I'm pregnant with our first baby. He gets very grumpy without sex. I'm very horny with hormones. Only 6 more months. FML
Today, my husband threw an epic temper tantrum because I wouldn’t have sex with him. I recently suffered from a miscarriage and the thought of anything going on down there makes me uncomfortable. He eventually calmed down and said, "Fine, just don’t be surprised if I end up cheating." FML
Today, my husband spent our entire anniversary sulking because I wasn't up for sex. I gave birth to our first child less than two weeks ago. FML
Today, my husband is pissed off, withholding affection, and not speaking to me. Why? I don't want to have sex with random men while he watches. FML
Today, three weeks after a traumatic emergency cesarean section, my husband keeps sulking because sex is the literal last thing I want right now. The fact that my body is still sore and healing is apparently irrelevant when he is horny. FML
Today, my husband is refusing any kind of sex with me. Last week, as a prank, I slapped his ballsack during foreplay, not hard at all. Now he says he "can't trust me" near his junk, the big baby. FML
Today, my fiancé told me that the thought of having sex with a pregnant woman repulsed him. I'm pregnant. He's glad he got that off his chest FML
Today, my husband asked if he could join Tinder for some “hookups and that’s it” because he’s tired of jerking off. I told him, “Absolutely not.” He thinks I’m being selfish and inconsiderate. I’m 7 months pregnant; in fact, I offered to have pregnant sex with him. He said that my belly turns him off, “no offense.” FML
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Top comments
arano 29
Your husband is a moron...
juicy_extasy 25
Show him a high school biology book so he gets educated. Win-win.
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Comments (126)
cynical78 15
He's missing out. Pregnant sex is amazing!!!
allplayedout 20
Are you taking any parenting or birthing classes? Anything you can make him attend for a lesson on basic anatomy? Him just being uncomfortable would be one thing, but "sulking" about it because he refuses to learn anything accurate about how pregnancy works is another entirely.
Dbotmen 9
Congratulations! Your husband is a decent human being, unlike you! also, yes he is an idiot.
bapbap_fml 15
What about this makes him decent and her indecent..?
Ramirex24 6
I mean it's pretty weird to have sex while pregnant but your husband shouldn't be crying and just please himself if he has to
bapbap_fml 15
How is it weird? I sure wouldn't want to go ten months without sex. The baby isn't in the ******, the penis would be nowhere near the child.
drrobotnik1 18
tell him to go for it. that's why people have dimples
_that_1_girl_ 3
On the bright side, now you know for sure he isn't a pervert who would rape his own children. :/
inz002 6
Tell him he has too small so it will never reach the child.
jacksonpm23 13
He's probably just joking, and guys aren't *usually* attracted sexually to pregnant women. People are taking this too literally in a biological sense.
Badkarma4u 17
Most guys arent attracted to pregnant women by other men, but there is nothing more beautiful and sexy as a woman carying your child.
writerchic85 26
He must have a hellishly long dick if he thinks it's capable of making it all the way to the kid.
bad_boyfriend 10
I can't imagine a situation where I would be able to keep my hands off my pregnant wife