Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML
Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML
Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Today, I was talking to a nice guy on a dating app and we exchanged numbers. Later, I got a call. It was his wife asking me to stop talking to her husband. FML
Today, my stalker - an annoying guy who's dedicated the past three years of his life to stalking me at every turn - somehow got a hold of my number and started texting me at 10pm about how I have no life. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML
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Top comments
afdude87 6
put his on Craigslist in the male looking for male section and see how he likes people he doesn't know calling him.
Auron93 1
Can't just block the number? Or text him from your husbands phone tellin him to cut that shit out
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Comments (100)
Carlie_McCartney 1
That might be a signal to YOU, dear.
crystalrain17 14
Then why are you friends with them?
rjw104 0
I understand how you feel I hate my husbands friend callin all the time all he talks about is engines I know nothin of them ppl piss me off
starbuttt 1
Well my husband did the same! How I understand you!! F our L!
nicky99 0
If u can try to block him :->
DanielleinDC 34
See if you can block the creepazoid calling you. Then call your idiot husband on the carpet for giving your number to the guy. I love the idea of giving out Creepy Friend's number to all manner of unsavory characters, but I'd be tempted to give hubby's number out as well.
anjtrg_1112 23
Put his number on Craigslist as a "responsible babysitter". That should do a pretty good job of annoying him.
crystalxa 35
what a wonderful husband!!
great_nate 26
That sucks! Block it.