Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML
Today, my husband left his phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being very curious, I called "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML
Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML
Today, my husband and I switched phones by accident. I've already received several naked pictures from one of his co-workers. FML
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Today, I was talking to a nice guy on a dating app and we exchanged numbers. Later, I got a call. It was his wife asking me to stop talking to her husband. FML
Today, my stalker - an annoying guy who's dedicated the past three years of his life to stalking me at every turn - somehow got a hold of my number and started texting me at 10pm about how I have no life. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML
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Top comments
afdude87 6
put his on Craigslist in the male looking for male section and see how he likes people he doesn't know calling him.
Auron93 1
Can't just block the number? Or text him from your husbands phone tellin him to cut that shit out
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Comments (100)
F0xyTurtle 8
9- it's time to rethink your comment
loserman67 36
Really nice of him to upset your daily routine like that - you better run - I've seen this before - you're husband might be thinking threesome - and I'm not saying that to be gross - he really might be - give his number out to a few skanks, file for divorce and run!
perdix 31
Is it just me? Am I the only one to think that her phone number is not the only thing of the OP's that her husband wants to share with his creepy friend? Maybe I'm just watching too much wife-sharing ****. I can't believe there are very many men who want to watch their wives get nailed by another dude, but that's just me.
KaskStunter 4
Flirt with him and see how your husband likes that.
stacianichole 2
9 - it's time to rethink your face.
justinpbanko 0
Poop.
itouchuser77 8
He warned you he would
creedaddict 9
Duh change ur phone number...
Nochal 8
Time to change your number I suppose
azurewave 6
I love those fat Americans. You know they’re so obnoxious. They’re always eating burgers. They’re always holding shotguns.