Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML
It's the thought that counts
Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML
Caught in 4K
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Pranked
Today, my friend made the effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML
Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML
Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
Today, my husband finally decided to help with the laundry. He washed a pen and it exploded in the dryer. FML
Top comments
furfantasies 0
Smoking is bad anyways
Chris122990 4
I think he's subtly asking for a *******.
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Comments (307)
Haven246 7
Ydi for smoking
merko 8
maybe thats a sign for something, like well uhhh yeah you know.
ebxr82nv 2
Who would have thought there was so many high high horses out there? Have 2 at a time and show him what you really want. :p
arezra39 1
Quit smoking!
nightowl713 25
The only difference between smokers and non-smokers, is that smokers don't care if you don't smoke. Smoking IS unhealthy but It's a personal decision, not a debate.
downtime 13
Because smokers don't have to deal with non smokers blowing their shit all over them, increasing the burden on hospitals and health services, leaving their butts in the street, burning smokers who either get too close or when the non smoker absent mindedly hits things with it, distracting themselves from driving, non smoking in areas that are inappropriate and then bitching about their right to not smoke, and generally being a pain in the ass. You know what? Hearing non smokers bitch about smokers is the closest you'll get to the irritation factor we get every day. You apparently can't even tolerate that. When smoking doesn't affect those who don't smoke, we might stop talking shit about it. Until then, you don't have a solid argument.
nightowl713 25
First of all, learn how to correctly form a sentence before replying to anything I write. It is an inconvenience for me to decipher any point you were trying to make. I dont know where you are from, but where I live, smoking is only allowed in designated areas. So non-smokers have nothing to worry about. So instead of ragging people on FML, take time to realize that exhaust fumes from vehicles is 100x worse than cigarette smoke in the air. So do something productive and send a complaint where it would actually make a difference.
downtime 13
You're right, why am I bothering with someone who fails to understand how comparing cars to cigarettes is a completely stupid argument, or that suggesting because something worse exists people don't have the right to complain about something that affects them. By the way, unless where you live all public areas including streets, footpaths and parks are smoke free your point is invalid. Besides, until you're forced to smoke only within your own home with all access points closed and air locked there will never be a time when smoking doesn't affect non smokers. It's ok little man, justify your pathetic habits however you want. Nobody is going to stop commenting on it so long as idiots keep doing it.
nightowl713 25
Did I ever say that I am a smoker? No I do not believe so. All I am saying is that smokers Are the most discriminated group anywhere. You have no right to judge people, or say what they should or shouldn't do. And comparing the toxins in the air is a very valid argument. Until they make cars that do not put off exhaust fumes, and obliterate industrial companies that pollute the air with an enormous amount of smoke and toxins each day, making smokers stop is pointless. And to be honest I can't stand people who argue just to argue. Belittling people just because you don't like what they do, makes you even worse than them.
downtime 13
When those people affect my life directly I have every right to judge them and tell them what to do. You may not be a smoker, but you're definitely not comprehending basic logic. There are so many reasons why everything you say is wrong but you seem to fail to have actually thought about it rationally - and I've covered this too many times to bother doing it again. This discussion is over.
TriztenJ 0
Perhaps he was saying that ur lung cancer is affecting your giving him blow jobs
agentxyv 0
.....And here comes the moral brigade, YDI just because OP chooses to be a smoker.
dansco 25
Well let's hope you were so embarrassed that you quit! Or gave him a ******* to stop him doing it again ;)
NoKittyMyPotPie 3
YDI for smoking.
sappy0 5
Really? THAT'S an FML for you?? Just buy another pack if you're so insistent on slowly killing yourself! Geeez!!