Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went onto my fiance's phone because I was seeing if a message was important enough go wake him up for. It wasn't important, but when I unlocked his phone, Facebook was already open with his female best friend's chat. He pretty much admitted to her that he still has feelings and that she's a better mom. FML
Today, at 3am, my boyfriend's phone notifications kept going off. I attempted to wake him up, but he didn't budge. When I went to silence it, I saw his Ashley Madison notification, followed by Tinder, Zoosk, and Plenty of Fish. We've been monogamous over a year... or so I thought. FML
Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
Today, I was caught going on Facebook at work. I was called into my boss's office to be reprimanded, and while he was lecturing me on the importance of staying focussed and the misuse of company property, his computer beeped. It was his Facebook chat notifying him of a new message. FML
Today, on our honeymoon, I found out my husband brought his work laptop with him. We were supposed to go scuba diving but he skipped it for virtual meetings, then sat on his laptop until 2 a.m. He then had the nerve to be confused about why I’m mad at him and just want to go home. FML
Today, I found out my husband has a fake Facebook account that he uses to add guys and live a double life as some kind of "gamer chick". This would be disturbing enough, even if he hadn't used pictures of me to give a face to his alter ego. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to go on my boyfriend's Facebook to change his status. While in the process, his account received a message. Turns out he's planning on hooking up with his ex-girlfriend/one of my friends and is definitely over me. How's that for snooping around? FML
Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML
Today, I found out my husband sent 3000 friend requests to random women on Facebook. He says it's no big deal and doesn't mean anything. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML
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Top comments
Kmart91 0
QUICK! Shave your bristle like hair, and file down your tusks! You're boaring! But Yea, thats odd he rather do that....
Kitola 2
Dude, Mousehunt is awesome. At least my boyfriend understands that, and occasionally sounds the horn for me. :) If he's hunting for a map carrier, or the Acolyte, I totally can understand.
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Comments (91)
Arin_Wolfe 2
Been there, well not right in the middle but RIGHT after.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Pehaps it's time to spice things up?
midwestjerk 0
Were you ******* or sleeping? If it's the former, learn how to give better head.
fml2102008 1
lol. get over it
littlegolferboy 4
He needs to learn how to cheat. Tell him to look into some refresher scripts that will do it for him. Play the game for him, that is, not have sex with you.
KeenJane 9
My housemate used to cheat at MouseHunt because we all played it while he was in Iraq and he called it, "his veterans advantage" he has since caught up to the rest of us and stopped cheating
Misanthropist 0
anything > procreating.
AntiChrist7 0
YDI for marrying an idiot. It's best you don't procreate
qwerty29 0
I LOVE mousehunt! I totally rock that shit
ChurchofFagenism 0
hahaha!!!
Chubtubdaplaya 0
Do you have sex every single time your husband wants to? No, I didn't think so. So calm down.
Gele01 0
Thats totally awesome tell you husband to join my mousehunting band... YDI btw for not hunting mice your damn self and knowing first hand that its more important than getting your rocks off
ChurchofFagenism 0
Too ******* right