Love: Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend gave me a squeaky dog toy... - FML

By rupture-imminente - 12/07/2017 21:00 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend gave me a squeaky dog toy because "I don't know why, but it made me think of you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 007

You deserved it 417

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pjsr 32

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Wednesday 12 July 2017 21:28

Since you're female, and it's a dog toy, I think he's trying to tell you something, bitch.

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Wednesday 12 July 2017 21:04

While probably not the best present, it certainly is unique--and let's be honest, squeaky dog toys are awesome regardless of whether you have a dog or not!

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Send a private message

Wednesday 12 July 2017 21:04

While probably not the best present, it certainly is unique--and let's be honest, squeaky dog toys are awesome regardless of whether you have a dog or not!

pjsr 32

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Wednesday 12 July 2017 21:28

Since you're female, and it's a dog toy, I think he's trying to tell you something, bitch.

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Thursday 13 July 2017 1:07

I was waiting for a comment like this.

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Friday 14 July 2017 15:09

"Why can't I get a girlfriend?"

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Wednesday 12 July 2017 21:53

....and I can't get a date....

Lalala579121 27

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Thursday 13 July 2017 0:24

Try submitting that as an FML.

Clive Wakeham 7

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Thursday 13 July 2017 0:43

maybe you should change your sex position..

Lebeaugars95 20

Thursday 13 July 2017 2:36

Bad bitch alert ??‍♂️

Miss_Kate64 2

Thursday 13 July 2017 6:13

FYL, but at least your boyfriend remembered your birthday. I'm on day 8....

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Thursday 13 July 2017 9:12

Seeing this today, my birthday, made me feel a little better. Haha, happy birthday (probs late but oh well)!

Lobby_Bee 17

Thursday 13 July 2017 9:43

Got it cause he loves you. Nobody buys their pet toys if they don't love them.

ArbiterOfFML 24

Friday 14 July 2017 3:23

He is calling you a squeaker. If you play COD ydi, if not fyl.

Canadian0622 17

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Saturday 15 July 2017 7:02

My boyfriend gave me a mechanical pencil and multiple used erasers for my birthday this year. He said "It's practical because you work all the time."

Nearly

Today, I realized that as I don’t have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any of the other things of the world today, this is my only contact with the world other than work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 33

Today, I go back to school after the winter break. I went to bed at a normal time so I wouldn’t fall asleep in class. I woke up at 3 a.m. and I still have to get up at 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 22

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 784

Today, I'm stuck at my future brother-in-law’s Bachelor party. Ten guys I don’t know, who are all younger than me. It turns out two of them have been fucking since High School, and it’s an open secret in their group. I won’t out them, but only cause I don’t care enough to remember names. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 582