Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML
Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
Today, I warned my husband not to eat the seafood he'd left on the counter. He insisted it was fine. He’s now been in the bathroom shitting, puking and wailing for three hours. Our place is tiny and the bathroom is attached to our bedroom. The door doesn’t keep out the noise or the rancid smell. FML
Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML
Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
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Top comments
Zmeilerr 22
Use a bucket.
spazticechidna 2
Vomit in the kitchen sink instead.
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Comments (93)
xoingly 0
just puke in the sink.
higgy6969 7
smothered and covered equals scattered and splattered
benchoko2 0
VOMIT OUTSIDE!!!!!!!!! just do it like behind a tree or something
ronniewciv 3
he uses the toilet while u use a trash can how hard is that to figure out?
FMLcommenterGIRL 0
Vomit in the food processor in your kitchen.
Krisha90 0
Exposive diarrhea, those two words always make me giggly hysterically!!!
WhitneyRuinous 6
Could you not vomit into a trash can?
LadyDeadPool 3
Omg I never laughed so hard on fml XD
atlanta_lex 0
Well you must feel ok enough to pause your vomiting and post about it on fmylife..... ..dumbass.
fatcow282 8
Lol that really sucks be happy it least there different symtoms my dad had both from food poisening imagine that with2 people and 1 bathroom