Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML
Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
Today, I warned my husband not to eat the seafood he'd left on the counter. He insisted it was fine. He’s now been in the bathroom shitting, puking and wailing for three hours. Our place is tiny and the bathroom is attached to our bedroom. The door doesn’t keep out the noise or the rancid smell. FML
Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML
Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Zmeilerr 22
Use a bucket.
spazticechidna 2
Vomit in the kitchen sink instead.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (93)
perdix 31
You should go outside to puke. If you keep using the bathroom, you'll never know where the food-poisoning-induced hurling ends and the diarrhea-smell-ogenic barfing begins.
octinate 17
vomit in the trash can
SirRager 9
Solution: garbage can/bag.
HomeAl0ne 20
So, not a good time for me to ask to use the shower then?
momo1972 3
yet you find time to write this FML?
badgirl90987 9
she said she would throw up every 15 mins.. hmmm.. my guess is that she wrote this sometime in those 15 mins.
mike3775 39
nothing that a little air freshener spray wouldn't take care of
Tanya33 1
Your husband should have the toilet and you should take the sink. Keep the air freshener handy.
iislix1ii 19
i doubt air freshener would work in a shitty situation like this. Stinks to be them.
FMLforALL 0
Can't you puke outside?
InBetweenDreams 0
You should yak in the sink, or a bucket. Or take a Gravol.
alexFYL 11
Why don't you cozy up on the couch, watch some tv and cuddle a trash bin to your chest? That way he can have the bathroom all to himself and you don't have to get up and rush to the toilet every 15 minutes.