By Anonymous - 29/08/2013 09:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 805
You deserved it 2 729
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

bleijar 4

Wow that's just immature. Sorry about it op

91 2

Comments

olpally 32

It was obviously Quagmire. Lol. That's just ******* disturbing though. Hope you're able to wash it off the furniture and walls.

5 19
kurodansei 16

From the windooooows to the wall(to the wall) Awwwwww skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet skeet awwwww skeet skeet my balls!

35 6
little_one 20

Till the sweat drips down my balls, and all these bitches crawl. Ah skeet skeet mother ******, ah skeet skeet god damn, god damn. *drops mic and walks away*

7 1
LittleBastard 20

Did they insemenate your furniture? If so. look on the bright side. Free furniture in nine months.

22 2
Welshite 39

That is probably the most horrifying mental image ever. I can just imagine people with cushions parasitically attached to their upholstered skin clawing their way out of the couch. They would have buttons for eyes and would have slashes in their faces with foam spilling out grotesquely. This is why I don't watch horror movies, people.

18 0
skyeyez9 24

But the furniture will not know who their daddy is.

10 0
pikachulove14 14

maybe they were saying they want to give you the D

1 4
mcm_3 16

Sounds like better locks are in order

0 4
perdix 29

"The penis mightier than the sword."

13 1
Welshite 39

Depends, perdix. Short-sword or a two-handed broadsword? ;)

5 0
perdix 29

#25, little plastic sword used to hold an olive above your martini. Wah-waaaaaah.

9 0
little_one 20

What is penis sword. Can I have Skeet Skeet for 200?

1 0
caohm 18

I hope that comes out and doesn't leave any faded outlines it would weird to explain

1 0