Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML
Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML
Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully, they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML
Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML
Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML
Today, my apartment was broken into. The thief stole my TV, $350, and my Christmas tree. There is still a trail of broken ornaments from my living room to the door. FML
Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML
Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML
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Top comments
bleijar 4
Wow that's just immature. Sorry about it op
tanekdrachonae 19
Those were some really cocky burglars.
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Comments (65)
perdix 29
Ask your neighbors, "Did you semen cum into my house?"
caohm 18
definitely one of my favorite comments on fml now lol don't judge me!
perdix 29
#35, I do judge you, but it's all to the good! :D
pukipop 8
wow that really sucks.
TheLittleBear 19
When you call your insurance company to make a claim do make sure you use the phrase "spunking cocks".
ZmanXD 7
Sorry about your house. But if I was a robber I would probably do that to xD
TheBrochure 22
Who's xD? XP
Bludude4 10
Wow, those people are real dicks.
cookieguy79 6
That sucks Bro fyl
shanannygians07 28
if they didnt take much, what did they take? Your *****?
ffrostay 5
I knew you were from the uk...spunking.
Inked0803 12
This is what the world is coming to
Isa_fml 20
The hell? Assholes. At least it should be easy enough to fix the walls. Don't know about the furniture though. Good luck, I hope you get it sorted out.