Today, my gym teacher ranted about how the government should put all the death row inmates in a coliseum and film them fighting. I guess he lied when he said he only drinks at the weekend. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML
Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML
Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML
Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water, and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML
Today, I was participating in an exercise in my psychology class to describe this horrible looking person I had never seen before and I described the person as a "rebellious, drug dealing, lowlife". The person in that picture turned out to be my teacher. FML
Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking Gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML
Today, I was at the gym, well intent on trying a new workout class. I was the only person in the class and the instructor was clearly disappointed. He reluctantly gave me the class but I could tell he was hating the whole experience. FML
Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML
Today, I went to court-mandated anger management. The guy running the class was an insufferable little dweeb who wasted time teaching us fucking nursery rhymes. I wanted to break his stupid little nerd glasses. Everything about him makes me mad. FML
Today, a student set me on fire while I was lecturing my class about proper lab safety. FML
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Top comments
higgysaurus 18
That gym teacher has some great ideas.
Tripartita 45
Listening to insane rambling > gym class Or maybe I'm just a lazy ass.
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Comments (137)
LoverWordsFood 27
Those guys try to do it anyway. We should hold something like this every 6 months and have them go at each others throats, just form different games for them to go through and watch. Kinda like the hunger games.
nickleburn 6
Battle Royal did it
unanimousangel 9
Dude you have an awesome teacher
Etweens96 25
A prisoners hunger games? That's actually a pretty good idea!
catchmypanties 13
At the weekend?
crash1419 8
That is a great idea
Yastafari 16
Is it just me but does it also bothers others OP misuse the preposition "at" as if "the weekend" is a place & not an actual day of the week?
Stuffaluffagus 25
What do those two things even have to do with each other?
KaitTheBarber 18
That's pretty hilarious
warrenhoward42 20
I don't disagree... but there should be a sniper on watch
Brandi_Faith 34
I'm shocked at the number of people that are actually ok with this idea. Who's to say that it wouldn't be voluntary and that criminals would be forced into it, especially after all the revenue it creates? Should we add lions & tigers for them to fight too? Rome already did this at the real coliseum, they were called gladiators, and it turned out bad for everyone. One of the many reasons why the Roman Empire fell. They were all monsters full of bloodlust and power that turned on each other. Yes, let's go back to that...great idea. :/
saidaswear 20
They're on death row for a reason...
person6641 6
Jesus Christ finally someone who's making sense around here. I mean they're on death row already, isnt that enough? You're going to make them be slaughtered in a desperate attempt to survive. That make you people worse than any murderers, just skimming through these you all sound like monsters. They are still people, they might have done terrible things but maybe not all of them are blood thirsty and soulless as you think?
SixthSinEnvy 39
So you're saying that even though to even be put on death row they had to brutilize, mame, torture, serial rape, and/or kill, they can't be that bloodthirsty and soulless? They violated a person's human rights in the worst way but we should continue to pay taxes that keep them alive and in "decent" conditions with a place to sleep and meals, while they may have starved their own victims? **** that. They got there for a reason. They are a burden on society. The money needs to flow back into the pockets of the law abiding citizens for a change. Deadman Wonderland was the perfect example of prison done right.