Today, my grandmother insisted that Mexicans sacrifice humans every year as part of their Catholic religion. The Swaggart guy on TV said so, and apparently, he can't be wrong, ever. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up to my overly religious grandmother trying to shove salt down my throat yelling "DEMON BE GONE!". Why? I didn't wear the cross neckless she bought me. FML
Today, my grandmother tried to lecture me about discrimination. This is the same woman who lies about her grandchildren's race, and tried to convince a Jewish person that the Jews were responsible for the Holocaust. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML
Today, my grandma came over for the holidays. She tried explaining how Santa is actually Christ reincarnated, giving presents to all the good little Christian boys and girls. She'll be staying all week. FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to write me out of her will because I refused to believe that dogs can perform the Heimlich Manoeuvre. FML
Today, my psychotic grandma set fire to our Christmas tree because she refuses to let us celebrate what she calls a twisted pagan holiday. FML
Today, my extremely religious grandmother disowned me for watching Supernatural. FML
Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML
Today, my grandmother yet again asked where my grandfather is. She refuses to believe us when we tell her that he passed away 6 years ago. She always insists that he's out cheating on her and accuses us of lying to cover his arse. FML
Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML
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Top comments
PMAN6x7 22
I bet she's voting Trump for that wall
El_Boxeador 14
I didn't know we did that. I should embrace my heritage and I guess I'll start by sacrificing that Swaggart dude!
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Comments (60)
bigdfootball97 24
*insert sarcasm here* I am a Mexican Catholic and I can assure you that that Swaggart dude is in fact 100% true (pinche cabron guey)
spn_fanboy14 12
I'm Mexican I will command my Mexicans to sacrafice her to the dark lord chlululu
shinigami88 11
A racist grandma Shocker
CaroLouWho 10
I'm not Mexican, but I don't remember human sacrifice ever coming up in my 13 years of Catholic school or my 20 years being raised Catholic. So. Um.
a_Vs21 6
see its cause you're not mexican, like me. it always pops up for us.
captainsmegma 12
Is this the same Swagger that likes his prostitutes in sleazy motel rooms.
Tannasgh 22
They used to...before the Spanish Catholics nearly wiped them out. Remind her that God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son...
LT_Silva101 18
I'm a Mexican Catholic and I can confirm this is 100% true. We like to sacrifice people who talk about it mostly
Roadmaster6k 6
Maybe Grandma belongs in a home.
sillygirl247 14
This is to ******* funny
vintageart1994 16
Wow that's different. I'm Catholic and Mexican and I can say for sure we do not do that. :/