Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML
Today, my grandmother loudly announced that she has a yeast infection. Under her breast. She attempted to show me. FML
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
Today, my grandmother sat me down and gave me a talk about the importance of personal hygiene. According to her, it's important that I shower twice a day, because, "Fat people tend to have a most curious smell about them." FML
Today, my mother-in-law insisted we go to a baby clothing store. When I reminded her that I don’t want children, she sat on the floor, crying, kicking and screaming. She then said I was denying her grandchildren because I hate her. Well, I didn’t… FML
Today, I was finally having a conversation with my granny, who I don't get to see often. First thing she tells me was that she was going to have surgery soon, because her "women's insides" were "dangling out." FML
Today, my grandma and her neighbor compared their sports bras in front of me. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my bedridden, 94-year-old grandma. She woke me up at 6 a.m. only to tell me her UTI is still there. Later, she made me interrupt my 15-minute-dinner a total of 4 times because she wanted things like "more lotion in her buttcrack." FML
Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML
Today, I was taking my grandma shopping, when she pointed at a pair of thongs and told me if I don’t start wearing them I won’t get a man. I've been married for 4 years, gran. Thanks for paying attention. FML
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Top comments
igive 29
Tell her that if you smell, you won't find a man. If you can't find a man, you can't give her grandbabies.
MDoremis 38
I can't even comprehend the thought process behind that...
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Comments (60)
KiaraLynn94 1
so that is what the "old person" smell is
climbr11410 12
Why do (grand)parents always feel entitled to grand children?
Gennocent 17
Because biologically speaking, the point of caring for your child is to ensure it survives long enough to reproduce... carrying on the genetic line and all that jazz. So your job really isn't done UNTIL you have grandchildren... it's as instinctive to want them as it is to want to have sex. Not that there's anything wrong with not wanting kids. No judgement on OP at all. Just thought I'd drop a little education on the situation.
Hop6e 22
Dude. I'm just learning about all the things soaps can do to the girl parts and its throwing me for a complete loop. Sooooo I get where she's coming from. Sorry how she went about it though.
BloodyGlass 10
*loudly* "You weren't getting any in the first place, so what's the problem?"
Angela Rounds 2
You thinks that's bad!, my grandmother goes off on me about having my laptop on my stomach when I watch Netflix. She claims I won't bear her 70th great grand kid.