Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML
Today, my grandmother loudly announced that she has a yeast infection. Under her breast. She attempted to show me. FML
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
Today, my grandmother sat me down and gave me a talk about the importance of personal hygiene. According to her, it's important that I shower twice a day, because, "Fat people tend to have a most curious smell about them." FML
Today, my mother-in-law insisted we go to a baby clothing store. When I reminded her that I don’t want children, she sat on the floor, crying, kicking and screaming. She then said I was denying her grandchildren because I hate her. Well, I didn’t… FML
Today, I was finally having a conversation with my granny, who I don't get to see often. First thing she tells me was that she was going to have surgery soon, because her "women's insides" were "dangling out." FML
Today, my grandma and her neighbor compared their sports bras in front of me. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my bedridden, 94-year-old grandma. She woke me up at 6 a.m. only to tell me her UTI is still there. Later, she made me interrupt my 15-minute-dinner a total of 4 times because she wanted things like "more lotion in her buttcrack." FML
Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML
Today, I was taking my grandma shopping, when she pointed at a pair of thongs and told me if I don’t start wearing them I won’t get a man. I've been married for 4 years, gran. Thanks for paying attention. FML
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Top comments
igive 29
Tell her that if you smell, you won't find a man. If you can't find a man, you can't give her grandbabies.
MDoremis 38
I can't even comprehend the thought process behind that...
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Comments (60)
lefsetang 15
Older folks always get to a point where they just don't care what they say anymore. I think she's hit that point. XD
lovelockdown23 23
Lol my grandma yelled about how I "need to go buy some vinegar to keep it tight" so when I do finally find a husband I'll at least have "something" that'll keep him interested. We were waiting in the lobby of her doctors office and all the other elder ladies agreed with her.
MrThump 16
How you doin?
MDoremis 38
Uh... What? Are you supposed to shoot the vinegar up your cooch? This makes no sense.
igive 29
sounds painful.
SubparAtBest 23
additionally the smell would be terryfing...
captainsmegma 12
t thought it was lemon juice you used to keep it tight and fresh.
RockstarJAy 16
I laughed at this.
LeavenSilva 27
I feel like after a certain point in a person's life, their 'filter' of what is and isn't appropriate just stops working
jayemerald17 25
Your username alone lets me know how you felt
worldclassrager 41
Troll grandma strikes again!
Silentshdw13 22
Why don't older people take embarrassment into consideration? Like, you remember when you were embarrassed by your own olders too don't you?
pjsr 33
Tell her to act the part of a lady, and not talk about lady parts in public
MrThump 16
Tell her your vibrator probably does more damage.
FalloutScrolls 25
I can't wait until I reach the age where I simply stop caring about whatever I say, too.
corky1992 33
lol if this were true I wouldn't have kids right now. wonder where in the hell she got that idea