By Dani - 24/01/2012 05:23 - Australia

Today, I tried to take a piss in the woods, but ended up peeing all over my feet. I still had to hike another five hours in wet shoes. My boyfriend's only comment was, "At least you didn't wet your pants." FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 317
You deserved it 26 726

Same thing different taste

Top comments

That was a piss-poor effort. Are you feeling a bit flushed? I'll stop the toilet humour now.

Now if a jellyfish comes out of nowhere and stings your leg, you're set


That was a piss-poor effort. Are you feeling a bit flushed? I'll stop the toilet humour now.

Guys have such an advantage against girls when it comes to peeing in the great outdoors.

MiniNyn 5

At least he didn't make fun of you! That was kind of him to not comment on the smell or gross factor of hiking with you and your pissy shoes.

Jakesterk96 8

At least you didn't piss your pants.... Dang it, your boyfriend beat me to it.

That would have been incredibly difficult if OP was a girl (which I'm guessing OP is).

MerrikBarbarian 9

Unless op had a whizz easy device which lets females pee standing up- and into a bottle if they so choose. The more you know!!!! :p

There actually is a device that lets girls pee standing up, it's called the "go girl". Good investment if you don't want to ruin your shoes while camping.

xXBlitzkriegXx 5

This type of humor is truly number one.

That really sucks op :( try to be more careful next time.

OP should consider investing in a penis. I would recommend the "Urinator 35". A manageable length, only $79.99, and comes with an attachable 5.0x aiming sight!

There's a Urinator 35 now?! I just got my Urinator 34, and that bloody thing only cam out sex months ago. Worse than the Ipiss and Call of Doo-Tp.

kinda true. once you started pissing on your feet you should have stopped. it stings but still lol

It doesn't sting.. Piss is generally sterile, and unless she has cuts on her feet, I'm sure it wouldn't sting.

Hmm might want to talk to your doctor about your piss stinging? Of course that begs the do you know about pissing on your feet stings? lol

not pissing in general stings, stop peeing in mid-stream stings lol

15-I think something is wrong with your pee pee...

Yes, I think you need some cranberry juice. Stopping mid-wee shouldn't sting...

mrbobmarley4 8

He means the "stinging" feeling when your peeing and you force yourself to stop peeing.

15 - Completely understood what you were saying from your first post, I'm surprised how people were dumb enough to think you meant peeing stings. Let me help you out abit..let's replace the word "stings" with "uncomfortable" when trying to stop the flow of pee midway

Chixken 6

He has a point... It does kinda sting when you stop peeing mid-stream (:

AwkwardHaole808 16

It's more of a weird sensation. I hate that feeling.

I think the worst part was having to walk with your feet sticking on the shoes every step, while knowing you're stepping on piss.

I think maybe they meant 'stinks' that op pussed on herself not stings.

Yes you are right it's a good thing op didn't "poo" when she went to piss

At least there weren't any bears ******** in the woods at the time! Shiiiit!

Now if a jellyfish comes out of nowhere and stings your leg, you're set

lishy1311 0

I found that out from a Friends episode XD

You're actually not supposed to pee on your wound after being stung by a jellyfish. Happened to a family member in Cuba and the first aid station told them not to have someone pee on it.

chubby_choco 17

I heard that only works for sea urchins...and even then, I'm skeptical...

pinkcrayola 0

Well, if you're a girl it's not too hard you just have to squat and hope you don't lose your balance.

manatees_r_epic 0

53, not really. It goes to all of the places you don't want it to. D:

RedPillSucks 31

Don't hate cause you don't have the superb muscle control to aim your pee stream.

Yeah, and don't you hate when you're trying to pee and you get a bo- oh, wait you're all girls.

MerrikBarbarian 9

Girls just aren't educated enough on the finer points of being in the wilderness is all. Alright ladies, here is the trick. Step 1) scout a spot with a tree or rock on a slight downhill incline. Step 2) stand with your back against your downhill leaning object and drop your drawers, pulling them forward slightly with one hand. Step 3) spread your legs slightly and go. The pee will flow down the nice incline and not into your shoes- and you are standing so no poison ivy on the ass.when you are woman who spends a lot of time in the woods you learn these things :p

I love being able to piss anywhere with ease.

mind_geek 15

"Pissing In The Woods" 101. What, didn't you get the memo o_0?! :)

He's got a point. Can you think of a better response to your pissing on yourself? Edit: 4 makes a compelling argument.

What the hell was he supposed to say? 'Learn how to squat properly'?

This coming from a person who doesn't even use a toilet

^ that coming from a creature who thinks anywhere is the toilet..

^that coming from someone that doesn't know what a toilet is...

LOL I read it in Stewie's voice :D And Brian's response... FAMILY GUY CARTOONS DO EXIST!

O NO! All, could you?!? Just kidding that sucks but at least your pants weren't wet!