Today, I tried to take a piss in the woods, but ended up peeing all over my feet. I still had to hike another five hours in wet shoes. My boyfriend's only comment was, "At least you didn't wet your pants." FML
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By
ComTlancy
| 12
That was a piss-poor effort. Are you feeling a bit flushed? I'll stop the toilet humour now.
By
yahoowizard
| 16
Now if a jellyfish comes out of nowhere and stings your leg, you're set
COMMENTS
By
ComTlancy
| 12
That was a piss-poor effort. Are you feeling a bit flushed? I'll stop the toilet humour now.
Reply
alexh15
| 13
Thank goodness...!
Reply
HahaHokayThen
| 10
Guys have such an advantage against girls when it comes to peeing in the great outdoors.
Reply
MiniNyn
| 5
At least he didn't make fun of you! That was kind of him to not comment on the smell or gross factor of hiking with you and your pissy shoes.
Reply
MrPhucked
| 0
what humour
Reply
indianguyinuk
| 12
next time use a bottle op
Reply
Jakesterk96
| 8
At least you didn't piss your pants.... Dang it, your boyfriend beat me to it.
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stariee1997
| 16
That would have been incredibly difficult if OP was a girl (which I'm guessing OP is).
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hopeforkitty
| 0
Lol.
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MerrikBarbarian
| 9
Unless op had a whizz easy device which lets females pee standing up- and into a bottle if they so choose. The more you know!!!! :p
Reply
chili10
| 18
There actually is a device that lets girls pee standing up, it's called the "go girl". Good investment if you don't want to ruin your shoes while camping.
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FaZeClan
| 3
She's a girl-.-
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xXBlitzkriegXx
| 5
This type of humor is truly number one.
By
emvictoria
| 9
That really sucks op :( try to be more careful next time.
Reply
ClassyCommando
| 13
OP should consider investing in a penis. I would recommend the "Urinator 35". A manageable length, only $79.99, and comes with an attachable 5.0x aiming sight!
Reply
BostonBruinsFan
| 8
...wtf...
(wtf??)
(wtf??)
Reply
freakinglaugher
| 10
There's a Urinator 35 now?! I just got my Urinator 34, and that bloody thing only cam out sex months ago. Worse than the Ipiss and Call of Doo-Tp.
By
Pentium_4
| 26
kinda true. once you started pissing on your feet you should have stopped. it stings but still lol
Reply
boofgall
| 16
It doesn't sting.. Piss is generally sterile, and unless she has cuts on her feet, I'm sure it wouldn't sting.
Reply
McDonaldsworker
| 4
Hmm might want to talk to your doctor about your piss stinging?
Of course that begs the question...how do you know about pissing on your feet stings? lol
Of course that begs the question...how do you know about pissing on your feet stings? lol
Reply
Pentium_4
| 26
not pissing in general stings, stop peeing in mid-stream stings lol
Reply
TPSerigne
| 9
15-I think something is wrong with your pee pee...
Reply
melons
| 44
Yes, I think you need some cranberry juice. Stopping mid-wee shouldn't sting...
Reply
mrbobmarley4
| 8
He means the "stinging" feeling when your peeing and you force yourself to stop peeing.
Reply
ahgah
| 0
15 - Completely understood what you were saying from your first post, I'm surprised how people were dumb enough to think you meant peeing stings. Let me help you out abit..let's replace the word "stings" with "uncomfortable" when trying to stop the flow of pee midway
Reply
Chixken
| 6
He has a point... It does kinda sting when you stop peeing mid-stream (:
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AwkwardHaole808
| 16
It's more of a weird sensation. I hate that feeling.
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FMLJFL
| 5
I think the worst part was having to walk with your feet sticking on the shoes every step, while knowing you're stepping on piss.
Reply
profligatesoul
| 18
I think maybe they meant 'stinks' that op pussed on herself not stings.
By
corytheg
| 6
At least u didnt poo on ur shoes
Reply
McDonaldsworker
| 4
Yes you are right it's a good thing op didn't "poo" when she went to piss
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
At least there weren't any bears shitting in the woods at the time! Shiiiit!
By
yahoowizard
| 16
Now if a jellyfish comes out of nowhere and stings your leg, you're set
Reply
RobinKCS
| 9
False.
Reply
shoopd
| 19
Shutup Dwight!
Reply
lishy1311
| 0
I found that out from a Friends episode XD
Reply
kerrwoof
| 13
You're actually not supposed to pee on your wound after being stung by a jellyfish. Happened to a family member in Cuba and the first aid station told them not to have someone pee on it.
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chubby_choco
| 17
I heard that only works for sea urchins...and even then, I'm skeptical...
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boofgall
| 16
32- that's not a real fact. "XD"
By
Cherryripe25
| 5
guys take the ability to aim for granted.
Reply
pinkcrayola
| 0
Well, if you're a girl it's not too hard you just have to squat and hope you don't lose your balance.
Reply
manatees_r_epic
| 0
53, not really. It goes to all of the places you don't want it to. D:
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RedPillSucks
| 31
Don't hate cause you don't have the superb muscle control to aim your pee stream.
Reply
ClassyCommando
| 13
Yeah, and don't you hate when you're trying to pee and you get a bo- oh, wait you're all girls.
Reply
MerrikBarbarian
| 9
Girls just aren't educated enough on the finer points of being in the wilderness is all. Alright ladies, here is the trick. Step 1) scout a spot with a tree or rock on a slight downhill incline. Step 2) stand with your back against your downhill leaning object and drop your drawers, pulling them forward slightly with one hand. Step 3) spread your legs slightly and go. The pee will flow down the nice incline and not into your shoes- and you are standing so no poison ivy on the ass.when you are woman who spends a lot of time in the woods you learn these things :p
Reply
BeefyQueef
| 5
I love being able to piss anywhere with ease.
Reply
mind_geek
| 15
The fuck am I reading?
Reply
Iellwen
| 12
"Pissing In The Woods" 101. What, didn't you get the memo o_0?!
:)
:)
By
ohSNAPyall
| 26
He's got a point. Can you think of a better response to your pissing on yourself?
Edit: 4 makes a compelling argument.
Edit: 4 makes a compelling argument.
By
AffenKid
| 9
What the hell was he supposed to say? 'Learn how to squat properly'?
Reply
TheRealBrianGrif
| 7
This coming from a person who doesn't even use a toilet
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
^ that coming from a creature who thinks anywhere is the toilet..
Reply
BostonBruinsFan
| 8
^that coming from someone that doesn't know what a toilet is...
Reply
elliepenguin
| 5
LOL I read it in Stewie's voice :D
And Brian's response... FAMILY GUY CARTOONS DO EXIST!
And Brian's response... FAMILY GUY CARTOONS DO EXIST!
By
alexh15
| 13
Much like a township. Squatter :P
By
McDonaldsworker
| 4
O NO! All, All.....WET...how could you?!?
Just kidding that sucks but at least your pants weren't wet!
Just kidding that sucks but at least your pants weren't wet!