Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML
Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML
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Top comments
AndyBoy 0
FYL indeed sir
ellephaba101 0
I don't get it...?
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Comments (176)
24788 7
haha, well at least you don't even have to be awake to remember it.
kapay 0
#33. What did #29 spell wrong.
rallets 23
#43, its obvious what he misspelled
ithedarkknight 0
dude i totally understand this is a fml because he totally rocked in bed gave his girlfriend the best sex she ever had. the bad thing is he cant remeber how he did it so know on she is going to be expecting him to perform that same lvl of sex when ever they do it but because he doesnt know what he did lol its not going to be the same lol
Addicted2FML303 0
LOL #23 is amazing!
0neiros 14
Take a Que, she likes it Rough and hard. Sometime when she's doing the dishes, yank her to the floor and do her right there-be a caveman every now and then, you'll both be happy.
x0aka0x 0
better asleep than awake?
NoMercy_fml 0
Now you know. You have to let her do all the work for sex to be great. And knowing is half the battle. Oh and possible rape.
AnaDoll 0
Number four, you win forever. ahaha
dan81892 2
well we all know you did something right :D