Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML
Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML
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Top comments
AndyBoy 0
FYL indeed sir
ellephaba101 0
I don't get it...?
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Comments (176)
_insertnamehere_ 0
Were you on Ambien at the time?? Or was she?????? hahaha!
forsalebypwner 0
Who cares, as long as she's happy! Maybe you can do it that good again!
rallets 23
lmfao shut the **** up #29. it was a simple question and idk how you can call me a dumbass when you could barely spell. i hate little kids on here. you ******* prick
mouseintern 0
Well, at least she thought you were good. Sad you missed out on it, but at least you have that. I must admit, random middle-of-the-night sex is usually pretty good, provided both people actually fully wake up at some point.
DEATHx2 0
were you drunk??!
TasteRC 0
Actually this was from an old TV show, called "Mad about you" with Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt. I'm guessing your just making this up from that. but maybe not.. who knows.. :-)
_HollieWould 0
lmaoooooooooo #4 and #23 xD
CodeMan16 0
#4: funniest comment I've ever read lol
Victoria2103 0
I really don't see how your life is f***ed. I mean... if this constitutes an FML, wtf are you complaining about?
8ranko 0
#23 ...LMAO...stomach pain from laughing xD if you're a sleepwalker that's just and ordinary thing...i've done it too while sleepwalking...:q one good explanation for this is that maybe you coward yourself (maybe even without noticing) while you're awake....but when you're uncouscious/sleeping you can get to your instincts and well the.....work... the advice I have for you is...sometimes you gotta let your dick think for you...xD